Our Dirty Little Secret
by fragmentalis
Summary: Harper holds a secret desire to be accepted by society. Getting drunk and pregnant by her best friend's 16-year-old brother may have hindered that goal. Marper from Harper's POV.
1. It Begins

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 1 - It Begins**

**A/N:** Yeah, I like Max/Harper. SO!? My first Wizards fic. Hope it's up to snuff. I've been writing for a long time, so hopefully it won't be too bad. There's a lot of pregnant!Alex fics, and there may even be a few pregnant!Harper fics. But how many of them have Max as the father? No seriously, how many of them? I haven't read them. I assume none, but I could be wrong. Buuuut, I did read a fic called 'The Wizard and I' by Divine Child. My goodness, it's awesome! If you're a fan of Marper, or even if you're not, you should go read that. It's marvelous! BTW, this is sort of AU, because Harper doesn't live with the Russos, and her parents never moved.

**Mood Music:** Ordinary Day - Vanessa Carlton

**Disclaimer:** I totally own Wizards of Waverly Place. /sarcasm.

**Summary:** Deep down, Harper holds a desire to be accepted by society. However, getting drunk and pregnant by her best friend's 16-year-old younger brother may have hindered that goal. Max/Harper from Harper's POV.

~!#$%^&*()_+

I remember how cold it was that day...

Winter in New York was always exciting, but very cold. I, for one, was bundled up from head to toe. Not only did I have my multi-colored button-decorated peasant top, and bright red leggings; but also the green and gold polka-dot overcoat my mother had bought me two years before, to make up for missing my shining moment, in the 22 mile marathon I ran and won.

I really didn't care that my parents weren't there. There were so many other things going on. Like the fact that Alex had fixed the marathon with magic so I would win, which led to me finding out all of my other achievements in life were because of her, too. But I'd forgiven her for that, because she was my best friend. And because she would probably end up doing something way worse than that, and I'd forget all about it anyway.

But anyway...now that I think about it, I probably _did_ look like a Christmas tree that day.

##

"You look like a Christmas tree," Max snickered at me, as I made my way into the Russo loft. I shot him a contemptuous look, before taking my coat off and hanging it with care on the coat rack.

"And you look like a chipmunk," I replied, in a softer and more playful tone than I'd intended. Max put his hand over his heart and flinched, pretending to be offended.

He was sitting on the side of the couch closest to the door, with his feet propped up on the coffee table. I slid his feet off of it by walking into them, before collapsing beside him and ignoring his annoyed expression.

"So, where's Alex?" I asked him with a yawn, the cold weather having made me feel a bit groggy.

"She's at the mall with Justin," Max said indifferently, indicating to me that he had wanted to go and they had left him behind. I felt sort of bad for him. They did that to him a lot.

I made a small 'mmm' noise, before turning my attention back to the television. He was watching infomercials...for some reason. But I had learned a long time ago not to question the things Max did. No answers would ever come of it.

I glanced at him secretly, to take in just how much he'd grown over the past few years. He was now at least six inches taller than me, and he was becoming an exceptionally good driver (though Mr. Russo wouldn't let him have his own car yet). His hair was curly and unruly, as always, and his face held a vacant stare in the direction of the TV. His bottom lip poked out in a slight pout, which I had always secretly thought was adorable.

I let out a content sigh, which I thought would go unnoticed, but I was mistaken. Max looked at me as though seeing me for the first time.

"Are you staring at me?" He inquired in a curious voice, with that half-smirk he always wore. I didn't expect to be found out, and was now searching for words.

"I...no--I was just, you know--I--" I managed to get out, before my police siren ring tone interrupted my calm reaction. (Thank goodness.) Police sirens meant Alex was trying to reach me. You can probably figure out why I chose that one for her...

I finally forced my eyes away from Max's confused expression, and answered my cell.

"Hello? Alex?" I greeted her, trying to sound as normal as possible, and failing miserably at it.

"Oh my gosh, Harper! You've got to get down here to the mall! Left-handed Sal is gonna fight that new kid from Canada!" Alex informed me, excitedly. I didn't exactly share her enthusiasm.

"Why would I come down there for that?" I asked, noticing Max's attention had turned back to the TV, and feeling a lot more comfortable now that it had.

"Well, there's also a sale on kitty cat fabric at 'In Stitches'," Alex added, knowing that would grab my interest. I gasped with zeal, and hopped up and down excitedly on the couch.

Max once again stared at me, causing me to make an effort to regain my composure.

"Um...o-okay. I'll be down there soon. See ya," I said, before flipping my phone closed with my chin. My eyes remained glued to the floor, as I got up and made an attempt for the door. Little did I know, Max had once again propped his feet up on the table. Needless to say, I took quite a spill on the floor.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, rolling onto my side.

To my surprise, Max jumped up and kneeled beside me, taking my hand and helping me up.

I blushed as he did this, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Thanks. Um...That was Alex on the phone. She wants me to come down to the mall, so I'm gonna head out now. Okay?" I explained, feeling I owed it to him to let him know why I was leaving. Not that it mattered to him. He was probably glad I was getting out of his hair.

Surprisingly, his face fell when I said this.

"Oh..." he trailed off disappointedly. Then I figured out his reaction. Someone else was leaving him behind, so how else was he supposed to react? Then, I got an idea.

"Why don't you come with me? It'll be fun," I offered, smiling as warmly as I could. He returned my smile.

"Sure," he replied, grabbing his jacket, which had been slung over the back of the couch. I retrieved mine as well.

"We just have to stop at my house first. I have to get my wallet," I informed him, remembering that I would need money if I wanted that kitty cat fabric. And I did. I _wanted_ that kitty cat fabric.

"That's cool," Max responded, following me out the door.

So, this is our story. Or at least where it begins.

**A/N:** Eh? That didn't go like I expected. I expected the next chapter to actually be the first chapter. But I kind of wanted to start earlier than that. Sooo....you likey? Should I continue this? Is it just a monumental waste of everyone's time? Only you can decide. Go on. Click the button. It's sooo fun. Seriously.

**Ruina**


	2. Smirnoff Secrets

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 2 - Smirnoff Secrets**

**A/N:** Yello. LOL. Yeah, I'm back with a second chapter. Let's see how far I get with this story before I stop updating it. I have a tendency to do that. I was going to finish writing the story before I posted it...but I'm too impatient for that. On a side note, I'm watching the Puppy Bowl! Soooo adorable.

**A/N 2:** Also, the end of this chapter isn't in Harper's POV. You'll find out why.

**Mood Music:** Obvious - Hey Monday

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Wizards of Waverly Place.

~!#$%^&*()_+

The bus ride to my house was filled with amusing banter for both Max and I. We discussed magic, which truthfully made me slightly uncomfortable, we talked about what car we both wanted, we even tried to predict what kind of trouble Alex would get in next. That one had endless possibilities, really.

Long story short, we were having a lot of fun. And it was interesting that I was having this much fun with my best friend's younger brother, without her even being there. Usually I only hung out with Max because he was just kind of there when I was hanging out with Alex or Justin. I felt a bit ashamed when I realized I'd never really considered him a friend of mine.

I was just about to bring up Justin's Captain Jim Bob Sherwood obsession when I heard the bus screeching to a stop. I was nearly jerked out of my seat, but Max grasped my arm to keep that from happening. I smiled up at him, and then got up, both of us making our way to the door of the bus.

It was at this moment I realized Max was no longer holding my arm...now he was holding my hand. It felt warm against mine, which was a rather pleasant feeling in the cold air. The bus driver noticed this as well, because as we passed him, he commented on how cute a couple we were. AWKWARD. This caused Max to drop my hand without a word, which kind of made my stomach feel funny...in a not-so-good way.

I sped up a bit to get in front of Max, so I could unlock the door to my house.

I swung the door open, and we were met with the lovely feeling of a cold, drafty, empty house. I shivered a bit at the unwelcoming feeling, but remembered Max was nearby. I pulled my coat tighter around me and entered the hallway, turning the light on and looking around. To my delight, there was no sign of my parents anywhere. I didn't want Max to hear the things they said when they thought no one was listening.

I saw him looking around out of the corner of my eye, and smiled at his curiosity. His attention settled on a snowglobe I had made last year. It featured a tiny Santa Claus, sitting atop the petal of a daisy. The glass ball was fastened to a blue teacup and saucer. I used tiny buttons to substitute for snow flurries, because I had never really been a fan of snow.

When I was six years old, my mother, father and I were driving through Manhattan in a snowstorm, when my father lost control of the car and plowed into a snowbank. My parents spent the whole four hours we were trapped fighting about everything that came up. I'd never wanted to be so far away from them in my entire life, or at least up until that point. It's just gotten worse with time.

My parents had proved to me that I could never be normal, so I stopped trying after awhile. I could just put on a front, and wear jeans and cute tops and mini-skirts void of fruit. Maybe people would like me. Maybe they wouldn't think I was weird. But then they'd meet my parents, and find out otherwise. They'd end up seeing me for what I really was anyway, so why fake everything? Why not wear what I want and be who I am?

_Because nobody likes you this way._ I hate that little voice in my head. That voice is meaner than Alex could ever hope to be. The source of a lot of my pain, even though I blame it all on my parents. It's always telling me I'm not good enough. Supposedly, everyone has that voice in their head. Mine just happens to be completely evil.

Max broke my thoughts, because apparently, I was just standing there staring at him again.

"You okay?" He asked, inching a bit closer to me.

"Yeah," I replied in a low voice; so low, in fact, I wondered if he could even hear me.

"So, where are your parents?" Max asked me conversationally, clearly trying to break away from the awkward moment. I had to think about my answer more than I should've.

"The therapist advised them to go on a second honeymoon to try to 'compose the conflict'. They left for Greece this morning, won't be back for five days," I expounded, dropping my keys in the key-bowl.

"I wonder who'll come back first," Max quipped, and I smiled at his attempt to cheer me up. But, enough chit-chat and mulling over my luny, intricate life. I was on a mission.

I left him standing in the living room, making my way to my bedroom. My wallet was laying on my dresser, and I went through it to make sure I had cash. $53, not too shabby. I could definitely buy some kitty cat fabric, so my spirits were lifted to some degree. Never underestimate the little things.

I shoved my wallet in my coat pocket, and went back out to greet Max once again, but he wasn't where I had left him. Leave it to Max to survey your house when you leave him alone. I almost laughed, before I remembered there were things in my house I'd rather him not see. And, knowing him, he'd find at least one of them.

I scurried through the house quickly, and found him in the dining room, holding a bottle with a long neck. The bottle was half-filled with clear liquid, which may seem innocent, but it was far from it.

Max gave me an inquiring look, to which I responded a bit dramatically.

"What are you doing?!" I exclaimed, loudly enough to cause Max to nearly drop the bottle.

"Oh...I was just...I don't know--" Max stopped short.

I had started to cry at this point, pressing a hand to my forehead as though that would stop it. I hate myself sometimes. The last thing I wanted to do right now was cry in front of Max. That would require explaining everything, which was something I didn't want to do.

Poor Max was startled at my sudden emotional discharge. I felt immensely uncomfortable all of a sudden, but I knew what his next question would be, and I knew there would be no way out of answering it.

"Why is there so much alcohol here?" Max questioned me, and I gave a deep sigh.

"You know what my parents are like..." Was all I could muster at that moment, because I was still sobbing uncontrollably.

"So...you do this to deal with it?" Max went on, sounding both shocked and disturbed. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his insinuation, before I remembered that I had considered it countless times. I was usually strong in that area, but it got more and more difficult with every day that passed.

"Not me...my dad. I guess it helps him get along..." I managed to say, hiccuping and shuddering still, while rapidly wiping my eyes.

Max looked from me to the bottle, before nodding, as though he understood. I couldn't see how that was possible, since his was the ideal family. But still, it was nice that he wasn't treating me like some kind of freak.

"Max...You can't tell anyone about this. Okay? You _have_ to keep it between us," I quickly notified him, praying quietly that he wouldn't do the 'Max' thing and tell someone.

He nodded with a small smile, before adding "Well, us and Alex."

I bit my lip gently before answering.

"No, just us..." I trailed off.

"You mean...Alex doesn't know about this?" He asked, clearly surprised that not even my confidant knew this very well-kept secret about me.

"You're the only one," I told him, my lips feeling strange as those words left them, almost as though I meant them differently from the context in which I'd used them.

Max gained a look of pride, almost like he felt special because only he knew this. I smiled at him, adding to the strange feeling growing in my stomach.

"So...I wonder what the big deal is about this stuff. It's almost like there's a spell on it or something, you know?" Max explained, motioning to the bottle as he spoke.

"I wouldn't know," I replied, my breathing finally beginning to stabilize at this point. Max gave me a strange look.

"Oh, come on. You've never even had a sip?" He asked.

"No, never," I answered, grinning sheepishly for some reason. I almost felt...stupid. Or maybe lame was the word.

"Oh, well I just figured...you know. It's just kind of laying around," he stated, looking almost alarmed at what he'd just accused me of. I decided to play with him a bit.

"So?! That doesn't mean I just go around snatching up the bottles and taking swigs whenever I want!" I shouted, then giggled when he gained a fearful expression. He smirked when he realized I was joking.

"Well..." Max said slowly, seemingly nervous about what he intended to say.

"What?"

"I've just...I've always been curious," he commented, appearing ashamed of this.

"Curious about what?"

"You know...what the big deal is about alcohol. I mean, people drink it for a reason, right?" He wondered, and I kind of agreed with him. It seemed to make my dad a little more detached from all the bad things that were going on, so maybe it wasn't all bad. I'd been tempted to try it several times, when I have to sit in my room and hear my parents screaming at each other.

"Yeah, I guess..." I agreed, seeing where this was going.

"Aren't you curious?" Max asked me straight out, and of course I was. Maybe I should've lied...

"Yeah..." I responded, a bit nervous about what I knew would end up happening. Deductive reasoning is both a blessing and a curse.

Apparently, my hesitant "Yeah" was all Max needed as a green light, for without another word, he unscrewed the cap on the bottle. I gasped quietly, before advancing towards him a bit.

"Don't do that!" I protested, even though I knew I wouldn't stop him.

"Why not?" He exasperatedly asked me, as though I were trying to convince him not to do something that would benefit all of humanity.

"I can think of a million reasons why not!" I retorted, though not really pursuing a way to prevent him from taking that sip at this point.

"Look, it's just a sip. What could possibly happen? I just wanna know what it tastes like," he explained, perceptably trying to reason with me.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, telegraphing the fact that he could do whatever he wanted. It was just one harmless sip...right?

He pressed the mouth of the bottle to his demur lips, before letting the liquid slowly inside. Right away, he coughed and spit some of it out, his face resembling a Pug dog's. I chuckled at him, hoping he knew that it served him right. To my disconcertion, he pressed the bottle to his lips once more, taking another swig, his reaction much more subtle this time.

"It's not as bad the second time around," he admitted, trying to get rid of his lemon-face.

I tried to hide the fact that I was just as curious and willing as he was, but I couldn't continue to do so. The opportunity to experiment was rearing its ugly head, and I knew I would regret doing it later. But everyone has moments like that. They really want to do something that they know won't be good for them in any way...they know they'll wish they hadn't done it later...they won't even remember why they ever wanted to.

Let that regret seek me out. I have to know what Max is feeling right now. I have to know why my father does this. I want to know how it feels.

I gently took the bottle from Max's newly cold hands, and closed my eyes. My mouth closed around the bottle opening, and before I even tasted the contents of it, I already felt a strange feeling rushing through me. My lips are now where Max's had just been, and I suddenly felt closer to him. What's wrong with me? Why is that the only thing on my mind right now--

"Ack!" I cried out, gasping for air. I had finally tasted what was inside the bottle. I've never tasted anti-freeze, but I _can_ imagine the similarities. My throat burned, aching from the small amount that I had swallowed. It wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. I found myself wondering how my father can stand doing this everyday, but then I remembered Max's words.

_"It's not as bad the second time around."_

I braced myself for a second sip, momentarily forgetting where I was for a moment. Fear and excitement surged through me like an electric current, with the knowledge that I was doing something I wasn't supposed to.

Max was right. The worst of it was over, and the taste of it was already there, so it wasn't new or anything. In fact, this time, I felt a faint warming sensation in the center of my chest. I was just about to ask Max if he had experienced the same feeling, when I felt the bottle leave my unwilling hands.

I opened my eyes to see Max taking another sip, much bigger this time than the last.

"It feels...good...warm," he commented, after he had swallowed it all. I nodded slightly, chewing my lip pensively.

I partook in another sip as well, the warmth intensifying only a fraction, but it still felt wonderful. I took another taste, before handing the bottle back to Max.

The feeling was getting even better. I felt a sense of freedom and happiness that I had never experienced before. It almost seemed like I was flying, a renascent being over a stretch of rolling hills and streams, warm wind whipping at my face. I felt strong and weak, beautiful and self-concious, alive and fading all at the same time.

Still, I wondered what Max was feeling, so I opened my eyes once more to see his face, seemingly only inches from mine. He was smiling, watching me.

"Do you feel like you're flying?" I inquired of him, in a dreamy, trance-like voice. His smile grew wider, and he came even closer.

"Not yet..." his voice faded away, like...like magic.

He placed one hand softly at the back of my head and the other around my waist, before dipping forward and covering my lips with his. Our hands fell into more appropriate places, and the kiss deepened.

My face was flushed, but I had grown to appreciate warmth in a different way than ever before. Eventually he and I were a tangled mess of hair and skin, and even in my seventeen years of life, I had never experienced this level of sensuality before. I especially never expected it to come in the form of Max Russo, my best friend's younger brother. But my life is kind of famous for enexpected twists and turns.

Finally breaking away from each other, we were both a bit disappointed to feel the warmth in our chests waning. We both reached for the half-empty liquor bottle and consumed several more sips than had been behind us.

I wish I could remember what exactly happened afterwards. But it's all just a distant memory now, made even more hazy by the alcohol present in the equation.

~!#$%^&*()_+

As time passed, both of the teens ended up nursing their own bottle of liquor, not even knowing exactly what they were drinking. All they knew was that it felt amazing. They were given the illusion that their senses were heightened, when really, they were impaired.

Max eventually wrestled Harper's bottle away from her, and found her lips once more, and she invited him to go as far as he wanted.

She took his hand, with her mischievous brown eyes locking with his in a lustful stare, and led him to her bedroom.

The two collapsed on the purple and gold-trimmed bed, no inhibitions holding them back from each other. The two never dreamed they'd ever know each other this way, this intimately.

Their experimentation continued further than the two of them expected, but neither of them could say they didn't want it that way. Feelings were harbored that neither of them cared to admit.

Of course, they should have waited. They should have given their bond time to flourish and grow and deepen and strengthen, but with alcohol weighing heavily on the both of them, and clothing being removed at a swift and reckless rate, waiting was the last thing on either of their minds.

~!#$%^&*()_+

**Special A/N:** It may seem like I was portaying the consumption of alcohol in a positive light there for a while, but don't take that as my opinion. I am strongly against drinking, especially if you're underage. It is extremely dangerous in the wrong hands, which (in my opinion) is every hand it touches. It can lead to vehicular accidents, abusive behavior, addiction and even death from alcohol poisoning.

If you are going to drink, please make sure you designate a driver if you have to travel afterwards, please don't overdo it and PLEASE: Think before you drink.

**Normal A/N:** That went the way I wanted right until the end...the end should've been better. Darn me. Darn me straight to heck. (As Zack from the Suite Life would say.) Anyway, today I've worked out quite a few kinks in the story to come, so that's good. Hope you enjoyed this one, too.

**Ruina**


	3. Afterglow

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 3 - Afterglow**

**A/N:** Well, the deed is done. I didn't want to be too specific on that, lol. Anyway, here is where things get interesting, so stick around.

**Mood Music:** Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, for I am a lowly, broke fanfiction author.

**Chapter Summary:** Max and Harper discover what happened.

~!#$%^&*()_+

I didn't know where I was, I couldn't even think of my own name at this point. All I knew was that there was pain surging through me. My head pounded like a drum, and my entire body was weighed down with exhaustion, even though I felt myself waking from an indefinite nap.

There was warm, smooth skin pressed against me, and I realized that I was without clothing of any kind. I inhaled sharply, and finally opened my eyes. There was no light coming into my window (thank goodness) so that meant it was nighttime. I glanced at my clock which read 8:17 pm. I looked over at whoever was next to me, and gasped as I saw a mess of curly brown hair.

"Max..." I whispered to myself, before trying to crawl out of bed without waking him. I stumbled around in nearly pitch darkness, pulling on clothes and hoping they were in the right places. I conversed with myself mentally, telling myself we couldn't have. There's no way we went all the way...not with each other. My brain pounded even harder against my head at the thought of it. My stomach was twisting in knots, and my heart was beating faster than it ever had before.

There was only one way to tell. I turned on the dim lamp on my nightstand, holding my breath, trying not to wake Max up. I lifted up the blanket slightly, and there I saw it. A small spatter of blood right where...

"No!" I cried out in a hushed tone, tears filling my eyes.

I swayed on the spot a bit, before stumbling backwards. I rested my back against the adjacent wall, and slid all the way down to the floor, sobbing quietly to myself. I felt awful, wretched, every bad thing imaginable.

I didn't feel violated, because I was the violator. I was seventeen and he was sixteen. I was older, so I was the one responsible. Me...it was my fault.

"This isn't happening," I wept, hardly able to breathe.

I had taken someone's innocence, and that wasn't all. Mine was gone, too. I wasn't a child anymore, but that was my own fault. But Max's childhood was now gone, too. And who was to blame for that? I was.

I continued to huddle against the wall, letting out the horrible feelings I felt. I had to tell him, I couldn't let him figure it out for himself. I shook uncontrollably, as I thought of Max's parents. They would never forgive me for doing this to their son. I thought of Justin. I had chased after him for years, and now, I'd had sex with his little brother. I broke down again, as that word entered my mind.

Finally I thought of Alex. My best friend in the entire world, my confidant, my life coach in a way. What would she say when she found out? She would hate me...she would never speak to me again. I would never be able to call her my friend again.

I thought of my parents, too. If my mother had her choice, they would probably lock me away in a convent, or something drastic like that. But my father...he was another story altogether. He had hit me before, mostly when he was drunk. _Wait until he finds out you got drunk off _his _booze and did something stupid like this._ There was that voice again. That unbearable voice...I couldn't handle it in this situation.

It was at that moment when Max finally stirred slightly. I stood to my feet, holding my breath like I was about to be attacked. I almost ran from the room, because I didn't think I could do it. I couldn't tell him what had happened. I couldn't...but I had to.

He sat up in the bed, and I fell to the floor once again, crying. I couldn't even look at him, let alone tell him what we had done...what I had done. At least not right away.

"Harper?" I heard him call my name in a tired voice. I looked up to see him looking at me, his eyes squinted a bit even in the dull light.

He climbed from my bed, thankfully still wearing his jeans. I buried my face in my knees once more, and continued whimpering softly. I heard muffled footsteps, before feeling him kneel beside me, and placing a hand on my arm.

"Don't," I demanded, glancing up at him. I'm sure the look on my face probably made him think the world was ending.

"What's wrong?" He asked me, his voice full of concern. I bit my lip to try to stop the crying, but it didn't work so well.

"W-we...we..." I struggled to get it out. I just wasn't ready for this moment. He continued to gaze at me inquisitively, which was making it worse. It was like I held the key to his questions, which I did.

"We got drunk...and...w-well...things happened," I stammered, trying not to be descriptive, but also not too vague. I felt like I was standing in front of an oncoming train, just waiting for it to hit me. I felt so strange inside though, when he touched my arm. It was almost...comfortable, now that the two of us shared something like this. Then I felt the urge to punch myself in the face for thinking such a thing when we were in this horrendous situation.

"Oh..." He muttered in a low voice, and I thanked God that I didn't have to spell it out for him. But now, we both knew, and I felt even worse than I did before, when it was just me. He simply ran a hand through his messy hair, and looked to be in deep thought.

"Yeah..." I replied a bit calmer. I somewhat found consolation in the fact that he wasn't freaking out like I was, and it amazed me at the same time.

"Are you sure?" He inquired. Good old Max.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, giving him an exasperated look. He sighed, and took a seat beside me. The sense of comfort I felt increased as he did so, and I didn't understand those feelings. This was a bad situation, but it was almost like I felt more connected to him now. It seemed a bit frightening.

On the one hand, I was glad I was not alone in this. On the other, however, I had ruined both our lives.

"What have I done?" I asked the surrounding air, but it was Max who answered.

"It's what _we_ did. You're not alone in this," he told me soothingly, and there were those indescribable feelings again. I was really surprised at how mature he was being, when he was never really known for acting that way. But I guess he had no choice in the matter, since I was the one falling apart. Maybe he felt like I did on the inside, and he was just trying to keep me together.

"I'm older, though. We got the alcohol from _my_ house...we did it in _my_ bed..." And the tears sprang back to life. I hide my face in my knees once again.

Max lifted my head off my knees and carried it to his bare chest, where I cried for quite awhile. He rubbed my back with one hand and ran his fingers through my hair with the other. Those emotions came back stronger than ever, and I became so afraid of them that I actually stood up to escape his enthralling actions.

"No, I can't do this."

"What?" Max rose to his feet as well, looking taken aback by my sudden coldness. I staggered over to the bed and grabbed his t-shirt, tossing it to him.

"Your parents are probably worried about you...Justin and Alex, too. You should go," I announced, trying to sound as sane as possible.

"Um...what about you?" He asked, the compassion in his voice at an all time high. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying to suppress those feelings that kept growing in my heart like wildflowers.

"I'm fine. I'll be fine. Actually, I really need to be alone right now. I need to think," I stated, between deep breaths. I hoped he would leave without too many questions, but secretly, I hoped he wouldn't leave at all.

"Harper..." He prodded, approaching me and trying to wrap his arms around me.

"Just go! Please just go!" I cried, pushing his arms away. Doing so made me feel like I was dying on the inside. I was sobbing uncontrollably by now, wanting this whole situation to go away entirely.

"Fine, I'll go," Max promised, news which caused me to relax from my worked up stage. I nodded, and took a few deep breaths.

"But I will be back," he added, which made my heart flutter. As long as he went away for now, maybe these feelings would die down. But, Max threw them into overdrive, when he leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead.

With that, he finally left my bedroom, and presumably my house.

I collapsed beside my bed, and found myself wondering what exactly had happened on it. Maybe part of me wanted to remember, because maybe that would be the key to these feelings that I was suddenly experiencing.

I knew one thing for sure...Max Russo was going to weigh heavily on my mind for quite some time.

**A/N:** Sorry that was so short. It's just I knew exactly where I wanted to begin and end. Just so happens there's not much in between, lol. I figured that would be a really hard chapter to write! Though I did work on it off and on for two days, it came pretty easily. I guess I just knew what I wanted to say. Anyway, hope you enjoyed that little nugget. Please review, if you have the time. And, stick around, there's more where that came from!


	4. Burned in My Thoughts

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 4 - Burned in My Thoughts**

**A/N:** Thank you to my wonderful reviewers. You guys are awesome! You make writing this worth while. Somebody used the word 'tasteful' to describe the last chapter, which I really appreciate. That's definitely what I was going for, I just couldn't think of a word to describe it, lol. I didn't want this story to be explicit, so I'm glad I succeeded on that front. I'm gonna try to get this up for Valentine's Day, so don't expect a novel of a chapter, lol.

**Mood Music:** Stop This Song - Paramore

**Disclaimer:** I claim no ownership to Wizards of Waverly Place.

**Chapter Summary:** Harper can't get Max out of her head, and she doesn't really want him to leave.

~!#$%^&*()_+

_BRRRING! BRRRING!_

That was only the fifth time my phone had rang in the past hour. I knew it was either Max or Alex and I didn't feel up to talking to either of them.

I had stayed in my bed for the past two days, almost never leaving it. I felt sick constantly, because the guilt of what I'd done was eating me alive. The only joy I felt was in the fact that my parents were gone, and I still had three days to myself.

My entire being felt out of whack, and I felt like I had entered a parallel universe. I then wondered to myself if I was involved in some sick magical joke of Alex's, but I had to be honest with myself. This was real...this had all really happened. Trying to find some loophole wasn't going to help me, and it wasn't going to help Max. _Max._

I would've given anything to see him. I still felt his lips on mine, as wrong as it sounded. That was the one part of our intimacy I actually remembered. If you had told me the day before that I'd be kissing Max Russo, I probably would've screamed my head off and ran away from you, before suggesting that you be checked into a psychiatric facility.

If only it had stopped at a kiss...Everything would be fine now. (Confusing, but still fine.) But now, everything was screwed up in the most unbelievable way.

I had no hope for a silver lining. There was no way this could get any better, but I could think of a million ways it could get worse. For one, Max's family finding out about what we did. I only assumed they hadn't, because they'd probably be beating down my door before I had the chance to blink.

I planned on telling them, I just couldn't drag myself out of bed to do it, yet. Although, now that I think about it, Max shouldn't have to be surrounded by people he has to keep a secret like this from. Maybe I should call him...

_BRRRING! BRRRING!_

In my deep thoughts, I forgot that I had commanded myself not to answer the phone, and had quite suddenly broken that vow.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice sounding groggy and unused. I cursed myself quietly for answering the phone without thinking.

"Harper! Finally...I've been trying to call you for days."

I smiled a small smile. It was Max.

"I'm sorry...I'm just...I thought maybe it would be Alex, and I'm definitely not ready to go there, yet," I informed him, hoping maybe he had been thinking about me the way I'd been thinking about him. I'd stopped trying to talk myself out of thinking about him that way the day before.

"I get it, it's okay. I told her that you were really sick and that you wanted to be by yourself, and she bought it," he told me. I sighed with relief, sitting up in my bed and brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"Thank you," I said, resting my head on my knees.

"Sure. Are doing any better?" He asked me, and I couldn't get over how sweet he sounded.

"That depends...was everything that happened two days ago just a dream of events that never happened?" I inquired sarcastically, knowing I probably sounded crazy.

"No," he replied, chuckling a bit.

"Then not in the slightest," I said through a smile...why was I smiling? He began to laugh, which caused me to laugh and...I was laughing. It felt strange in this situation.

"I...I'm worried about you," he finally said, before an awkward silence fell upon us. I honestly didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to tell him not to worry? Because, to tell the truth, _I_ was worried about me. I was worried for both of us, because I saw no light at the end of this tunnel. We had screwed up in one of the biggest ways possible, and there was no turning back.

"I know," I mumbled, and perhaps he understood my predicament, because he pressed the issue no further.

"Is it weird that...I've been thinking about you?" he stammered. _No weirder than me thinking about you all the time._ I tried to hide a huge smile, though I later wondered who I was trying to hide it from. Myself?

"I'd be lying if I said I'm not thinking about you, too."

"Well, of course you're thinking about me now. You're talking to me," he responded meagerly. He was such a moron sometimes...and I actually giggled at his comment. Why was this happening? The worst thing that had ever happened in my life, and here I was laughing.

"I mean I've been thinking about you, too. It's kind of hard not to after we..." I trailed off, and suddenly, the bad thoughts came rushing back.

"Made love?" He finished my sentence. I almost dropped the phone in disbelief, and completely lost any breath that had been stored in my lungs. Is that actually how he thought of it? Suddenly, those feelings in my heart rose to the surface, and warm tears sprang to my eyes.

"Yeah," and maybe he sensed what I was feeling.

"I want to see you," he continued, and how was I going to say no? _Just say it, Harper. If you say yes, you'll be playing a dangerous game. You've ruined both your lives already, don't make it worse._

"I want to see you, too," I confessed, before chewing my lip, wondering if I'd done the right thing. It was probably a bit late to be asking that question. I knew it was wrong.

I heard him sigh on the other end, possibly relieved at my answer. Maybe he was feeling just as strongly as I was.

"Good, so..." Max trailed off, and I knew he was waiting for me to invite him.

"Get your butt over here," I demanded, indifferently. He laughed, and complied.

"Oh, and Max?"

"Yeah?"

"We're keeping our clothes on this time," I joked, instantly regretting making light of our dilemma. It turned out to be fine by Max, as he was in stitches afterwards.

"Got it," he replied, through chuckles.

As we hung up the phone, I felt about 500% better about a hopeless situation. Just how in the world had Max pulled that off?

**A/N:** Well, that was way too short...the next chapter should be longer. (Hopefully.) Anyway, happy Valentine's Day dolls! Hope you had a wonderful day! I did, because I am delirious from lack of sleep, and REALLY REALLY peppy for some reason. AHHHHHH!

**Ruina**


	5. A Beautiful Unfolding

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 5 - A Beautiful Unfolding**

**A/N:** Anyone else trapped under snow? It is snowing _really_ hard right now. LOL, this was quite an intense winter, and as much as I enjoy going sledding every 20 minutes, I'm certainly ready for beach weather! Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed! You guys are the greatest, and made of win. I didn't realize other people liked Marper as much as me, and I'm very glad I'm not alone in this! They are adorkable together! The song mentioned in this chapter is 'Anywhere But Here' by SafetySuit. It's a great song that DEFINITELY screams Marper. I recommend a listen. And for someone to make a Marper video to it. HINT HINT.

**Mood Music:** Anywhere But Here - SafetySuit (obviously)

**Disclaimer:** I recognize I don't own Wizards of Waverly Place. I hope all of you recognize it too, or I could be in serious legal trouble. I also don't own Chapstick, but I really love it. I _also_ don't own the song or artist mentioned in this chapter. Man, I am doing some serious franchise borrowing. Don't hate me, law people.

**Chapter Summary:** Max and Harper enjoy each other in a more innocent way, but those feelings still linger...

~!#$%^&*()_+

Normally, if I was just hours away from seeing a guy I thought about this much, I would be in a frenzy trying to make myself look presentable. But with Max, I didn't feel it was necessary. After all, he had seen me in my most vulnerable state. I felt no need to hide anything from him. It was a strange sensation, wanting to be totally open with someone.

I had simply thrown my uncombed hair into a bun and applied some Chapstick. That was about it.

I'd informed him of where the spare key was just outside the door, so he could let himself in. All I had to do now was wait. I glanced down at my candy cane covered pajama pants, and my black tank top, with two little red Christmas bows on the shoulder (which I had added myself) and wondered if I should change into something else. I ended up shrugging it off and deciding to remain as I was.

I grabbed my stereo remote from my bedside table and clicked the 'on' button. My attention was caught as the soothing sound of a song I'd loved for quite a while graced my eardrums.

I smiled as I sang along, out of tune, of course.

_Is this the end of the moment_

_Or just a beautiful unfolding_

_Of a love that will never be or maybe be_

_Everything that I never thought could happen_

_Or ever come to pass and, I wonder_

_If maybe, maybe I could be_

_All you ever dreamed_

Apparently, I'd gotten too loud for my own good, because I didn't notice that Max was leaning against the threshold of my door, until I finally turned in that direction. My ear-assailing singing faded out, while I simply stood there, embarrassed. Well, there were _some_ things I didn't want Max to know.

He smiled when I stopped, as I avoided looking at him, busying myself with turning the volume down slightly on my stereo.

"I didn't know you could sing," he commented, without a formal greeting. I closed my eyes and sighed, as I'd been hoping he'd forget that had ever happened. No luck on that front, as I had suspected. I turned to face him, a sheepish smile forming.

"As you just witnessed, I can't," I replied, striding to my bed to take a seat.

"Well, I liked it," he stated. I rolled my eyes, knowing he was just saying that to appease me. I was surprised to see him moving towards me, a curious look on his face. Suddenly, I felt reminded of the 'incident' and I felt my heartbeat speed up. I was assuaged as he stopped in front of me, and held out an open hand. I gazed up at him inquisitively, and that look soon changed into a coy smile, when I realized what he was suggesting.

"I'm not the greatest dancer ever, but I can tell you like this song," he clarified, his hand still extended. I looked from his eyes to hand, before slowly taking it.

He led me to a clear spot on the floor, and his arms settled around my waist. The strangest thing about this was that it didn't feel strange. Of course, those disruptive emotions were welling up inside me, but it was a pleasant feeling. What was I _doing _? Max and I had committed the ultimate sin, and here we were daning in my bedroom, two days later. What was wrong with us?

It's not that I didn't understand the seriousness of it all...it's just that it was becoming like a distant memory. Things were starting to seem innocent again. Things weren't looking so dark, anymore.

I took this opportunity to pull him a bit closer, and I tucked my head between his chin and chest. I became warmer being this close to him, and it felt...good. My heart had slowed to a calm, steady rhythm, but those feelings remained engraved there. Those chaotic, terrifying, wonderful feelings I couldn't explain. They made me feel special and pure, despite what I had done two days ago. They made me feel beautiful, even though I was dancing with a boy in my socks and sweats. And they made this boy that I was dancing with feel like the only person I ever wanted to dance with again.

Maybe there was a silver lining.

We both had become so wrapped up in the moment that we hadn't even realized that the song had went off and another one had come on. I became aware that we weren't even swaying to the music anymore, we were simply standing there, holding each other close.

I lifted my hands over his shoulders to deepen the embrace even further. I felt his breath moving the disheveled hair that surrounded my ear. I didn't hear music anymore. All I could hear were my own shaky breaths. We seemed to stand there in silence. We were both so inexperienced in matters of the heart, every movement seemed so crude, so unrehearsed.

I pulled back slightly so I could see his eyes. Emotion seemed to be swimming in them, perhaps the same one I was feeling. I placed my hand over his chest, in the very spot I knew his heart to be. The pulsations seemed deep, and definitely quicker than normal.

"What do you feel?" I asked him, my tone soft, more like a breath.

"Fear," he replied, his voice cracking. That wasn't the answer I was looking for.

"Oh..." I voiced this listlessly, but I'm sure my expression held disappointment. He bent down closer to me, his lips right next to my ear.

"Love," he concluded, causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. Can you be warm and cold at the same time?

I didn't bother answering with words. I stood on my toes (those childhood ballet lessons surprisingly paid off sometimes), and planted a simple kiss on his lips. It wasn't tainted with alcohol or impending indiscretions. It stopped at a kiss, like it should have the first time.

Max beamed down at me, his forehead leaned against mine.

My head was superfluous with thoughts.

Max guided me to my bed, and my heart jumped a little. He sat down at the head, and I took a seat beside him. I stared at him, wondering what he was thinking, before he grabbed the television remote and flipped it on. TV? I was okay with that. In fact, I loved that idea.

I rested against him, and it felt almost as if I did it all the time. I couldn't have frowned if I wanted to. I was having the time of my life with him, and all we were doing was watching TV. It was almost as if two days ago had never even happened, and yet none of these moments would be happening if it hadn't. Maybe it didn't have to be the most horrible thing ever.

Suddenly, a thought struck me, and I lifted my head from his chest. He sat up, too.

"What's the matter?" He inquired, his hair now displaced from him having laid down.

"Your family...my parents," I muttered, not breaking my gaze away from him. He sighed.

"I've been thinking about that. I don't think we should tell them what happened," he said quickly, as though he seemed concerned that I would react badly.

"I-I think I agree with you," I declared slowly, nodding my head with every word. His eyes widened in surprise.

"I thought--" he started, but I wouldn't let him finish.

"Yeah, well...things have changed. I...I just want to be around you. I don't want anything to get in the way of that," I admitted, and perhaps it was selfish. Leaving everyone in the dark in favor of Max and I being together. But let's face it, I'd already done something bad, and now I felt utterly blissful. I don't see how causing a huge commotion about it would help the situation.

"Neither do I. Besides, it's our business, not theirs," he mentioned, and I agreed.

"I think as long as we keep it rated PG from now on, we should be fine," I giggled, my recently missing optimistic nature making a welcomed appearance.

And that was that. It would stay between us, where it belonged. I leaned back against Max, and we both went back to watching television.

All I knew was, things were so very good again. My mind was still spinning, however. But, being in love with Max Russo will do that to a girl.

**A/N:** I have no clue how I'm churning out chapters this fast. I'm usually not like this. I guess Marper is just such an awesome ship, they are offering plenty of inspiration. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if it became a bit too fluffy toward the end. Don't worry. As you know, drama is coming. -Evil laughter- 'Til next time kiddies!

**Ruina**


	6. Peace of Mind

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 6 - Peace of Mind**

**A/N:** Well, I was extremely uninspired for this chapter, until I read the review from 'Year 3000'. Thank you so, so much for what you said. You gave me the good swift kick in the butt I needed to do this chapter, so this one goes out to you! Hope it delights all!

**Mood Music:** Hallelujah - Paramore

**Disclaimer:** No messing around with the law. Those law people all have rabies. Or maybe it was scabies. I can never remember these things. Oh yeah, I don't own Wizards of Waverly Place, because if I did, Marper would have happened in the first episode. Amiright?

**Chapter Summary:** Harper's life returns to normal...for now.

~!#$%^&*()_+

"Harper, I'm so glad you decided to come with us. I've been _so_ worried about you since Max told me you were sick," Alex said, through a mouthful of nachos, in a tone that indicated that she had actually kept her worrying to a minimum over the past week. Guess I couldn't fault her for it. That's just how she's always been.

Me, Alex, Max and Justin were all at the Mondoplex, grabbing a snack before we headed in to the movie we were going to see. Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 5, to be exact. I wondered when they were gonna stop making those movies.

Justin, Max and I were mainly waiting on Alex to finish eating, and we were starting to feel a bit queasy doing so. She had cheese dripping down her chin, and was continually talking and chewing at the same time. For some reason, it was particularly disgusting to me at that moment, but again: it was just how she was.

I glanced at Max and cringed, and we both started laughing. Justin and Alex looked at us like we were crazy, so we both attempted to keep our newly discovered 'having a coversation without words' ability under wraps.

It had been a week and a half since Max and I had slept together, and we still hadn't told anyone about it. My parents had come home from their 'vacation' much to my dismay, causing me to keep mostly to my room. Although, there didn't seem to be as much yelling in the house as before they left. That, I was happy about.

Max and I had been spending almost every waking moment together, which was another thing we kept between us. None of the Russos knew that when he left their residence, he was coming to see me. And obviously, I didn't stay home for these gatherings. I didn't want my parents to know that I was hanging around with Max either. It just didn't seem like information that needed to be shared with everyone.

Finally, Alex had sopped up her last nacho chip with cheese and stuffed it in her mouth, finishing it off with a sip of soda. The visual of the straw touching her lips caused me to think back on Max and I sharing swigs of that bottle of vodka, making me wince involuntarily. I'd found the first bottle laying on its side on the dining room table, bone dry on the inside.

I shuddered thinking about it. Just when I think all the guilt has left me, something triggers it to come back with a vengeance.

"You okay, Harper? You look nauseous," Justin asked, me, snapping me back to reality.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just ready to see this movie," I lied, really just wanting to go home all of a sudden. I didn't feel very well.

"Ugh, I know! I've been waiting for this movie for months. Let's go," Alex said, swiftly tossing the remnants of her perceptibly sickening meal in the trash bin on the way into the theater.

The previews had already started, and the lights had been turned off already. The dark, more private atmosphere improved my mood slightly, as I followed the three in front of me to our chosen seats in the far back.

Justin took the aisle seat, Alex sitting next to him, I took the next seat, with Max sitting beside me. I worried momentarily, thinking maybe Justin and Alex would be suspicious of the seating arrangements, but Alex was more concerned with aquiring even more refreshments.

"Darn, I forgot my popcorn," she sighed, looking at Justin with a threatening look.

"You just ate, Alex. I'm not getting up from my comfortable seat to go get you something else," he retorted, seemingly unphased by her expression.

I was reluctant to leave the theater, because I felt more safe there for some reason, but I knew if Alex didn't get her popcorn, we wouldn't hear a single word that was in the movie.

"I'll go get it," I said in a lackluster tone, brushing past Max and several other people as I tripped my way back over to the door.

While standing in line at the concession area, I felt an arm snake around my waist. I didn't react with fear, because I knew the arm quite well. It had been around my waist many times in the past week. I smiled at Max, feeling a bit tired.

"Hey," He greeted me, and I was hoping that Justin nor Alex had followed him.

"They probably wonder why you followed me out here," I informed him, resting my elbows on the counter as we had finally reached the front of the line. I ordered Alex's popcorn before he was able to reply.

"I told them I had to go to the bathroom, they didn't ask questions," he responded, and I chuckled softly. I leaned my head against his shoulder as I waited, while the girls working the stand giggled and smiled at Max. I tried my best not to glare at them, but it was very difficult.

"Thank you," I said emotionlessly, as the flirtiest of all the girls handed me the tub of popcorn. Max and I walked away without another word to any of them, and I smiled at the way Max ignored them in favor of looking at me. Those girls were the cute-blonde-skinny-pretty-at-any-time-of-day-in-any-light-with-no-make-up-wearing-absolutely-anything type, and I was...well, me. Not exactly a comparison that I would win, but with Max, I didn't even have to compete. It was something I never expected with any guy. I had always been the jealous type, but now, jealousy was obsolete.

Max and I stole several handfuls of Alex's popcorn, something she noted when I handed the tub to her. Max and I both shrugged and took our seats.

The movie had already started.

"Okay, seriously. These girls have been in college for, like, ten years. _When_ are they gonna graduate?" Alex snickered to herself, through a mouthful of popcorn. I'm sure Justin, Max and I all rolled our eyes in unison, because this was only the start. This had been the very thing I was trying to prevent by getting Alex her popcorn. It seemed my attempts were futile. She was not going to shut up for the entire movie, this much we all knew.

"Oh my gosh, that girl's shoes are _uuuugly_. Where did she get them? Remind me to avoid _that_ particular store," she continued. I sighed, but I wasn't going to say anything. I never did.

"Alex, shut up," Justin exclaimed, though he was still whispering.

"You shut up!" Alex shot back, in her normal voice.

"Man, that guy is smokin'. What's he doing with _her_?!" She kept on, and I could feel a strange feeling building up inside me. I was getting annoyed, and fast. I usually sat through entire movies with Alex, listening to her talk all the way through it, but I never had the spine to say anything. But I was feeling particularly brave now, and I didn't know why.

"Alex, please. Shut up," Max told her, leaning across me so she could hear him. I grinned, and almost laughed, as he purposely touched my hair with his hand when he pulled back.

"Why? There's probably a bunch of other people talking, not just me," Alex argued, propping her feet up on the seat in front of her. Luckily for everyone in the theater, none of them were sitting there.

"Wow! You know, I bet one of them's the killer!" She said excitedly, and I had had enough.

"Alex, shut up!" I yelled as loud as I could, hoping after I had done it that none of those little scrawny guys carrying flashlights were in there at that moment.

The look Alex gave me was one of sheer shock, and perhaps a bit of fear. I felt content at this, as her face quickly faded back to normal.

"Okay, okay. You don't have to yell," she said, finally whispering. As her attention turned back to the screen, I smiled in spite of myself, and I could feel Max's eyes on me as well. I glanced at him, and he looked thoroughly amused. He held out his hand, and I gave him a quiet and inconspicuous low five. He however, continued to hold my hand under the arm rest.

After five minutes, when Alex still hadn't spoken again, I knew we were safe.

However, I kept shooting alarmed glances at her and Justin, expecting one or both of them to be looking at Max and I, knowing we were holding hands. But neither of them said another word through the whole movie. I felt kind of bad about yelling at Alex, so I apologized to her as we gathered back out in the lobby.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," I told her, as Justin and Max had scampered off to play a few quick rounds of...whatever arcade game boys like, I guess.

"When did that happen?" She asked me, genuinely confused.

"You know...when--nevermind," I decided, figuring if she didn't remember it, it wasn't really all that important.

"Anyway, wasn't that movie awesome? My favorite part was when you and Max were secretly holding hands," she explained, giggling towards the end. I gawked at her for a moment, wondering if I had heard her right.

"What?" I mouthed, probably closely resembling an amateur ventriloquist.

"Mmhmm. Didn't think I saw you, did ya? Harper, I've followed many a-skeezy boyfriend here to this very movie theater, catching them with other girls when they think I had no idea. I'm very good at spotting secret movie theater PDA," she told me, in her extravagant 'storyteller' voice. And...how exactly was I supposed to respond to that?

Alex read my mind.

"Chill out Harper, I'm not, like, _mad_ or anything. I might be a little confused...and disgusted, and very, very disturbed. But I'm not mad," she calmed my frayed nerves, and I smiled at her ability to still be so very Alex-like when I was silently freaking out on the inside. It was good to have my best friend back after the week I'd had.

"That's good, I'm glad you're...you know...okay," I stammered, still a bit disoriented from her finding out. At least she didn't know our _big_ secret. Or did she? I couldn't tell.

"Yeah. I'm actually kind of...happy for you. I'm not even gonna ask what mental affliction you've recently gotten to make you even consider Max..._romantically_," she replied, saying the word 'romantically' as though it was another definition for the word homework.

"Ahaha..." I laughed awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say in this situation. Alex sensed my discomfort.

"I'm with you. This is too weird to talk about...let's change the subject," she chuckled, quickly switching to the movie as a conversation topic. I was understandably relieved. I made sure to hug her before we left.

**A/N:** Well, that didn't turn out the way I wanted it. It seemed more like filler than anything. SIGH. I'll try to make the next chapter a gazillion times better than the previous few. My sister is watching TV in the room with me and it's very hard to concentrate on this...ugh. Anyway, thanks for reading, and feel free to yell at me for my extreme suckatude on this chapter. LOL.

**Ruina**


	7. In This Light

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 7 - In This Light**

**A/N:** YELLO ALL. YELLO. And...suddenly I want Jello. Speaking of superfluous sweet treats, I recommend trying Edy's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. SOO GOOD. Or just stick with Jello, it's much better for you. (Unless you're like me and don't care whether something's good for you or not. Let's stuff our mouths with stuff!!!) Sorry for that randomness...the past few days I feel like I'm constantly drinking Red Bull. I'm just that peppy. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm sorry you guys have to deal with me. I hope you still like me. PLEASE LIKE ME. Anyway...

**Mood Music:** Learning to Breathe - Switchfoot

**Disclaimer:** I lost my train of thought. OH. Found it! I don't own 'The Raven' by Edgar Allen Poe, which is briefly mentioned in this. I don't own Walgreen's either. I also don't own the tackle-hug, but I'm a big fan of it. ^^

**Chapter Summary:** Max and Harper take advantage of a snow day, while Harper struggles with her conflicting emotions.

~!#$%^&*()_+

Well, now I finally knew how polar bears felt. I sat cross-legged on my bed, watching mountains of powdery snow pile up outside. It was a pretty sight. The sky was a pale gray, while dark buildings faded into the white ground. It resembled stacks of paper, or perhaps a puddle of white-out, which may not be the first thing most people visualize when they see snow. I never was like most people.

My parents were...well, wherever they were. I was alone in the house, and felt like it, too. There was total silence, and an unrelenting chill in the air. For a while, I thought it may have even been warmer outside.

I snuggled against my pillow, trying to warm myself with my blanket, but to no avail. I wanted someone to talk to, anyone. I'd have even settled for one of my parents. The room was just too cold and quiet.

I had tried calling Alex and Max a good fifteen minutes before, but there was no answer. It had been a week and a half since we'd all gone to the movies together, and I hadn't seen them much since then. And, seeing how much snow was on the ground, it looked as though I wouldn't be seeing them at school anytime soon either.

To be honest, I felt a bit feeble about it all. What if Mr. and Mrs. Russo had found out about Max and I? Or what if Alex had found out what Max and I had done?

My stomach twisted at the thought, and I considered with frailty that I might not see them again. Or worse, that I _would_ see them again after they found out about it. Of course, it didn't take much for me to be riled up into a tailspin of apprehension.

My thoughts were wiped from my mind, as I heard a tapping on my window. I weighed the possibility that it might be that scary bird from the famous poem, before finally looking to see what it was.

Why, it was Justin, Alex and Max, staring in at me as though I were the creepy one. Okay... I furrowed my brow, and waved at them awkwardly, before motioning for them to come to the front door.

I met them there, before asking them what in the world they were doing.

"We're going to the park. Go get ready," Alex answered, with a small smile.

I didn't bother to comment on how bossy she was. In fact, I almost tackle-hugged her for curing my loneliness. I invited them inside, while I practically ran back to my room to seek out my snow clothes.

While I dressed myself, I wondered whether Alex had told Justin about Max and I. I decided that I wasn't going to bring it up and I hid a hope that she wouldn't either. Even if he did know about it, I didn't want to have to have a conversation about it. It would just be awkward for all involved.

Finally, I tugged my gloves on and met them in the living room, and we were on our way. The trip to the park thankfully included conversation about common things, like the fact that we probably wouldn't have school for quite a while.

Justin was home from college on Christmas vacation, and the snowstorm would probably prolong his stay at home. Even though Alex seemed disheartened by this, I was pretty sure she was happy to have someone else to pick on for the next couple of weeks.

The park wasn't too crowded, a couple of kids playing in the snow here and there, but not too bad. Alex had brought her sled, and there were a couple of decent hills located variously around the park.

Of course, the first thing Alex did was build up the biggest ball of snow I'd ever seen and throw it straight at Justin's head. He retaliated of course, and this led to a war between the two of them.

Something interesting happened though, in the midst of this. Alex glanced at me and winked, before running off through the park, Justin hot on her trail. This left Max and I alone...go figure. Had Alex just done something nice? Maybe I had imagined it.

I felt my legs get a bit heavy, strangely, and I took a seat in the snow. Max asked if I was okay, and I made an excuse.

"I wanted to make a snow angel," I lied, but I did so anyway. He laid down beside me, smiling.

"You have snow all over you," he announced, stating the obvious.

"You don't say," I replied, turning to face the sky. I closed my eyes, allowing my face to become covered with large snowflakes. I was extremely tired, but I couldn't figure out why.

I lifted my head slightly to see that Justin and Alex were out of sight, before rolling over to lay my head on Max's chest. If it hadn't been so cold, I probably could've fallen asleep there.

"I like you," Max told me, after some time had passed. I grinned into his jacket, because it was such a random Max thing to say, but I was also forcing back tears. Why was this happening? Why were my emotions conflicting so badly?

My head was spinning, quite suddenly, and if I had been standing up, I probably would've fallen down at that moment. I felt like my heart was chipping away like a cheaply painted china doll left out in the bitter elements for far too long. And yet my stomach was warm and content, and I felt safe snuggled against Max, though we were out in the open.

Everything that was bottled inside me began to come out, as I began sobbing into Max's side quite abruptly. He jerked up quickly, holding my head against him.

"What? What is it?" He questioned me desperately. I felt guilty for scaring him, and I could imagine how he must've felt. We were just laying on the ground, happy and together, and all of a sudden, I started freaking out. He probably thought I was crazy.

"Nothing, I just... I don't know. I don't know," I cried, trying to look at him as I talked.

He placed his hands on either side of my face, staring at me like I was a cheeseburger that he wanted to eat. I laughed at my own thought, and his concerned look turned to one of confusion.

"I'm sorry. I know you think I'm crazy," I said, wiping my cheeks and beginning to recover from my unexplainable crying fit.

"Um...kind of," he replied, adding a lighthearted chuckle to let me know he was being sarcastic. I joined in with his laughter.

"I like you, too," I finally answered his earlier statement.

"You really don't have a choice. Who else could handle these mood swings?" He responded, and I feigned a look of reproach, before agreeing with him.

"Plus, I'm not much of a looker," I giggled, laying back down in the snow, staring up at him. He held the most serious expression I'd ever seen him with.

"You're beautiful," he replied. That was definitely un-Max-ish. In fact, I would've staked my life on the fact that he'd never told anyone that before. I ignored my fluttery heart, and turned it into a joke to lighten the mood.

"Well, maybe in this light," I stated, my face once again filling up with snow. Max laid down beside me once more.

He pressed me no further about my sudden, frantic tears, which I was thankful for. I couldn't even interpret them myself, how was I supposed to explain it to him?

"I wonder if this would've happened if we hadn't...you know..." Max thought out loud.

"If what would've happened?" I asked him, tilting my head to look in his eyes.

"Us. I mean, if we hadn't slept together, we probably never would have started spending so much time together," he hypothesized.

"Are you saying what we did was a good thing?" I inquired.

"I don't know. I just know...that I like you. I know that I love being around you. I love when you smile and when you laugh, and even when you don't know what you're feeling, so you just cry," he told me, playing with a strand of my hair that had fallen by him.

I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say to him. It was amazing to me that he, of all people, understood what I went through. Max Russo, who two years ago, I could've sworn had severe mental problems. It then occurred to me that, despite however I may have looked at him in the past, he wasn't a child anymore. While he may not ever be the posterchild for maturity, it was clear to me at that moment just how understated his emotional depth was.

He could love and hurt just like anyone else. He just didn't like to, or possibly didn't even know how to share it with people. Yet here he was, sharing it with me, in the best way he knew how.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to see you," I replied, hoping he would understand what I meant. He smiled, so I took that as a yes. I leaned upward, preparing to kiss him, but I was interrupted.

"NERD ALERT!" I heard Alex yell, and Max and I looked up to see her running towards us, Justin not far behind. I took this as a sign that Alex had not told Justin, and that maybe she didn't think it was a good idea to do so.

I stood up, and distanced myself from Max, who looked disappointed that our moment had ended prematurely.

"Did you catch her, Justin?" I asked the oldest wizard, who was hopelessly out of breath and flustered. He gave me a look that indicated Alex had won their little game, and that I should've known that already.

"Of course he didn't. And that is why you couldn't rely on an athletic scholarship to get into college," Alex sniped, crossing her arms, self-assured.

"Why would I want that anyway? I had no problem actually _trying_ to get in. Unlike you, who will continue to coast through life with no regard for--" Justin began one of his patented lectures, but Alex wouldn't let him finish.

"Yes, I will coast through life. And it will be much easier to do so after I win the wizard competition," she commented, ready to go a few more rounds with him.

"You will not. In fact, the competition won't even take place if you continue to goof off instead of completing your wizard studies," he shot back.

Max and I simply looked from Justin to Alex, as several more insults rolled in. Finally, we looked at each other, and took our leave, heading back to the sidewalk. Alex and Justin were left to argue alone.

As Max and I walked, I remembered something. I turned to face him, and shoved him gently and playfully against the side of the building we were walking beside. He gazed down at me like I was crazy.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

I didn't answer him, I just pressed my lips against his. He responded favorably, and wrapped his arms around my waist. In my mind, I hesitated, but physically, I was losing the battle. I deepened the kiss, and my head began spinning in a way that was quite welcome. I didn't want his lips to leave mine, but I pulled back eventually, so I could breathe.

Max looked bowled over by what had just happened. I felt a bit ashamed, and I cast my eyes downward. That was certainly not appropriate.

"I'm sorry, I--"

But my mouth was soon tied up once more, as Max had decided that I had nothing to be ashamed of. He took control this time, tangling his fingers up in my hair as this kiss seemed to last longer than the first.

I reluctantly pulled away again, flushed, and covered my mouth with my hand almost as though I couldn't believe it had just happened.

"What's wrong?" He inquired, leaning back against the building.

"I didn't want to stop..." I admitted, turning away from him.

"Then, why did you?" He continued, placing his hands on my arms.

"I want to go slow, this time. I want it to last," I told him. I couldn't find the exact words to explain this to him the way I wanted to, but it would have to do for now. I turned around and embraced him, an innocent hug this time. His head rested atop mine.

"I get it," he said.

We stood there for a few moments, before we finally said our goodbyes. My eyes lingered on him for a moment, before I finally turned around, preparing to make my way home. It was getting harder to say goodbye to him with each time I had to do it. I couldn't understand why. I knew I would see him again. I just felt like I couldn't be away from him, even for a moment.

My heart sank, as I trudged through the snow. I tried to focus on the happiness I would feel when I saw him next. His words bounced around in my mind. '_I like you._' I giggled out loud as I remembered this. It made me wonder, though. By 'like' did he mean love? Was he trying to tell me he loved me in his own way? Because that's what I felt for him. I then considered maybe I was trying to make this relationship, or whatever it was that we had, more than it was. Perhaps he really did just like me. Maybe what I was feeling for him was only a chemical reaction inside me, brought on by what had transpired three weeks ago.

Maybe I was just being over-emotional...a girl as Alex would say. That couldn't be it, though. I could hardly handle parting from him, and no one could convince me that it was just a chemical thing.

I finally arrived at my door, and stepped inside. The air inside was just as frigid as the air outside, and I shivered as I took my coat off. I disposed of my snowy clothes in the laundry room, and slipped on a couple of homemade sweaters. My parents were still not home, I noted.

I sat down on the couch in the living room, flipping the TV on with the remote. The news was on. Snore. I intended to turn it, but the news anchors were actually sort of amusing. The female anchor was going on about some beauty pageant that I honestly didn't care about, before turning it over to the man beside her.

"Thank you, Diane. New studies show that, despite measures to lower the percentage, teen pregnancy is still at an all time high. What the school board intends to do about it, coming up in the next hour..." The news cast's gaudy logo appeared on the screen, as music played them into a commercial break.

"Idiots," I muttered to myself, referring to girls who were actually stupid enough to--

And that's when it clicked inside me. Panic, fear and heaviness crashed over me like a tidal wave. I had been unusually tired, I felt sick a lot, my emotions were out of whack, I felt a strange and unanticipated connection to Max...it all made sense now.

"No! No, no, no!" I yelled to myself, thankful only for the fact that no one was around to realize this with me.

It couldn't be. This couldn't have happened. Every apprehensive, dreadful feeling I'd felt the night this had happened, it all came rushing back.

"But, maybe not. I mean, what are the odds?" I continued talking to myself, though I didn't really care about odds and probabilities. There was only one way to know for sure, and if I wanted to find out, I'd have to do it now.

I collected my wallet, noting I still had fifty bucks to my name. I sighed, as my eyes filled with tears, ruminating over everything. I never thought I'd spend that fifty bucks on this, that much was for sure.

As I walked out the front door, I prayed that I would get back before my parents did. If they found out, I wouldn't know what to do.

I took the bus to the other side of town, crying silently the whole time. I wanted a place where no one I knew frequented. I finally got off the bus in front of a Walgreen's Pharmacy. I held my breath for a moment and bit my lip, hoping that this was a dream I would wake up from. No such luck, at least not yet.

I walked inside, and almost as if on cue, a man approached me.

"Can I help you ma'am?" He asked me, polite as could be. He could be the nicest person in the world, he still wouldn't have made me feel any better about the situation.

"Could you show me where to find the...h-home pregnancy tests?" I replied, my voice breaking as I spoke.

**A/N:** Ohnoes! The drama is officially starting. That was a decent chapter as far as length goes, I guess. Certainly longer than the previous ones. I hope it was a good read, also. Let me know, if you have the time. In other news, I'M FREEZING. SAVE ME. BRING ME A SNUGGY. (Which is trademarked by someone other than me.)

**Ruina**


	8. Back to Reality

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 8 - Back to Reality**

**A/N:** Dieting sucks. Especially when all they show on TV is food commercials. I just felt like sharing that with you. Sorry this chapter took a while. You guys were getting so used to fast updates. I thought maybe I should stop spoiling you. LOL j/k. Truthfully, I just had writer's block for this chapter. Plus, I'm working on another fic...yep another Marper. All I can tell you for now is that it's called 'In Pieces' and it will be epic....hopefully. But it won't be posted 'til after this fic is over and done with. Anyways, I'm glad you guys are liking this fic. I honestly didn't expect it to be this well-received. I figured there would be a lot of "Ew, Marper sucks" and the like. So, thank you. Also, thank you for your attempts to warm me. They totally worked, I am no longer freezing. And again...REALLY sorry this took forever.

**Mood Music:** Name - Goo Goo Dolls

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Wizards of Waverly Place, or the acerbic comments I usually put here. They are a product of way too much Dr. Pepper (which I don't own, but would soooo do anything for. I love, love, love it.) Speaking of, anybody see Jake T. Austin's Youtube (C) video with Christian Fortune about the Dr. Pepper machine? LOL, just when I thought I couldn't love him anymore. There's also a recent vid on there of his friend throwing baby powder on him while he's asleep. Hilarious, lol, and he's a cute sleeper. ^^

**Summary:** Harper finds out the truth, and has to break it to Max. O.O

~!#$%^&*()_+

Why couldn't my life be normal? I was a good person, wasn't I?

If so, why did my best friend, my boyfriend and their family have to be wizards? Why did my parents have to hate each other, and use me to hurt each other? Why did I have to take a liking to clothes other people wouldn't be caught dead in?

And why was I crying on my bathroom floor, waiting for results from a home pregnancy test?

Why had my life turned out this exact way? Was there a reason for it, or was it just random chance? I probably shouldn't blame everything on a cruel fate, and start blaming it on the stupid decisions _I_ made.

My parents were still out, which was odd, but welcome at this particular moment. If this test turned out positive, which I had a dismal feeling it would, I couldn't bear to face them. I didn't know if I could look anyone in the face ever again, but then I thought of Max.

I wouldn't have a choice but to tell him, for it would be his baby. And the more I thought about it, I would want to tell him. He's the only one who would understand, because he was apart of it, too.

My entire body shook with fear, as the timer I had set began to ring, alerting me that my test had processed. It was sitting on the sink, while I was on the floor. My legs felt like jelly, and I couldn't even bring myself to stand up. I was at least able to lift to my knees, placing my hands on either side of the test, and I peered over it.

A tiny plus sign had just sealed my fate. I took the small piece of plastic and threw it at the wall. I banged my fists against the sink, sobbing angrily to myself.

"Why?! Why?!" I repeated, feeling the urge to destroy the entire room. It almost seemed like both my parents were in the room, except it was only me.

I found it hard to breathe, hard to think and hard to talk. I felt like the world was on top of me, weighing me down, laughing all the while. Worry was surging through my veins, and it finally became too much, as I keeled over and vomited in the toilet.

All the hopeless feelings I had felt the night of the incident that had led to this moment came rushing back. That night, I didn't know how it could get any worse, and here I was...experiencing how it could get worse first hand. I was all alone now, and terrified.

I started to consider my options, before reprimanding myself for it. I wouldn't do or think about anything until I talked to Max. And...well...Now was as good a time as any.

I emerged from the bathroom, feeling quite dizzy, and finally located the telephone. I shakily dialed the numbers, hoping either Alex or Max would pick up. I didn't really feel like explaining to anyone else why I needed to talk to Max. Even Alex wouldn't be getting the whole truth.

And she was the one to pick up, and I tried to rid my voice of any and all distressed tones.

"Hi Alex, is Max around?" Was my query, and I was trying to sound as casual as was humanly possible.

"Oh, hey Harper. Yeah, he's upstairs somewhere," Alex replied, before screaming as loud as she could for Max to come downstairs.

In a normal situation, I would've laughed at this, but tonight was quite different. I didn't even think I had the ability to laugh anymore.

As Max took over the phone, I burst into tears once more. I couldn't control it. It was so good to hear his voice, the only voice that could help me. But, it was also frightening.

"Harper, what's wrong?" He asked me, clearly worried about my mental state. I hoped that Alex was out of the room, because if not, she was probably wondering what was going on.

Max continued to ask me what was wrong. I couldn't tell him this over the phone.

"I need to see you. Right now...please," I practically begged, but in my humble opinion, it was justified.

"Okay, all right. Calm down, what happened?" He continued, and I tried to do what he said, but it was quite difficult.

"I just really need to see you. There's something I need to tell you," I informed him. I wasn't trying to sound annoyingly vague, he just needed to understand that this wasn't the type of news to share over the phone.

"Okay, uh...I'll be over as soon as I can," he answered me, sounding a bit distracted. I was curious about why, but I decided not to ask.

"Thank you," I told him, not even remotely relieved. After all, I still had to tell him what was wrong, and I was not looking forward to it. But, it wasn't like I could keep this to myself. I was pretty sure he and everyone else would notice my ever-growing stomach.

As we hung up, I fell backwards onto my bed, placing my hands over my eyes and rubbing them. Each new challenge was wearing me out immensely, and I was getting tired of it. I was being worn thin, and I did not know how much more I could take.

I must have fallen asleep, because I was suddenly jarred by a loud knocking sound. I forced myself up and scrambled to the front door, crouching by the widnow to see who was knocking.

It was only Max. I felt a wave of urgency hit me like a wall of bricks, as I opened the door and let him in. I didn't let him speak or do much of anything, before I nearly knocked him over in a frantic hug. I sobbed openly, I honestly didn't care.

He held me tightly, trying to offer up solace by whispering endearing things in my ear, but there was nothing that could help me right now.

"What happened?" He asked me.

"I'm so glad you're here! Wait...oh...you're gonna be in trouble for leaving home this late," I replied, crying even harder, thinking about how much grief I was causing him...and the amount seemed to keet on growing.

"It's okay. Alex is covering for me," he said, and I gave him a skeptical look.

"Or at least I hope she is," he added, and I could tell he was trying to make me laugh, or smile at the very least. I did not oblige, instead I hugged him even harder.

"Okay, you need to tell me what happened," he told me soothingly, pulling back just enough to look me in the face, before brushing my bangs out of my eyes.

"I-I...God, I can't even say it," I stammered, noting that crying and talking didn't mix.

"You can tell me anything," he said, and it may have been a nice sentiment. But that didn't change the fact that it was wrong. What was I supposed to do? Casually blurt out that I was pregnant?

"This is...this is different. It's not just some little thing, Max," I informed him, shaking from head to toe.

"So? Whatever it is, just say it," Max continued to push it, but I still couldn't find a way to do this gently.

"Look, after 'what happened' we sort of stopped taking it seriously. We figured that it had already happened and we couldn't change it. We stopped worrying...but...but we shouldn't have..." I explained, my calmness fading as I reached the end.

"What are you talking about?" Max asked me, clearly not understanding.

"We thought that what we did wouldn't have any..._physical_ consequences. But it did," I continued, hoping that he would figure it out before I actually had to say it.

"Consequences?" He repeated, saying the word like it was in a foreign language. This was becoming tiring.

"Max, I'm pregnant!" I finally blurted out, as it had been taking too long for him to happen upon this conclusion himself. I suddenly cringed at what I had just said, expecting him to have the same reaction.

He let go of me, and his mouth fell open a bit, and he stood there mouthing words that I couldn't hear for a few seconds. His eyes grew to proportions comparable to oranges. Abruptly, a possibility struck me like like a freight train would have in the real world. _What if he leaves? What if he doesn't want to be with me after this? What if this is too much for him? What if this was the final straw?_

"Ugh...wow..." His voice was an abnormally deep rumble at the back of his throat. He leaned against the wall for support, as he looked quite faint all of a sudden.

Suddenly, the phone rang, interrupting the...whatever kind of moment we were having, and I was almost grateful. However, I glanced at the clock - it read 10:04 pm - and wondered who could possibly be calling this late. Telemarketers usually didn't, at least not at my house, call past 8:00.

I answered with a shaky voice.

"Harper? It's mom," the voice on the other end replied. I felt a mixture of relief and anxiety.

"Oh, mom...hi..." I said, glancing over at Max momentarily, who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts at that particular moment.

"I was just calling to let you know that your father and I will both be working late tonight. We'll be lucky if we get home before 2:00," my mom explained to me.

"Oh. Okay," was all I could think to say. I was disinterested in everything she was saying, and it was probably noticeable. But it wasn't like I was going to say 'Hey mom, I honestly don't care. I've got bigger fish to fry. Did I mention I was pregnant?'

"You'll be alright?" She asked me, and it almost sounded like she cared, but I knew the truth behind that.

"Yes, mom. I'll be fine," I responded, my voice wrought with despondency. Not that she would notice.

"Okay then. Bye," she said, before hanging up without even saying 'I love you.' But then, that's usually how these things went, so I didn't really feel all torn up about it.

I put the phone back down and rolled my eyes out of habit, before turning my attention back to Max. _Uh-oh. Back to reality._ Max had apparently been found in his little world and brought back to this one, as he was now looking at me. I slowly walked back towards him, unaware of what to say. We locked eyes, and in a despairing voice, I finally spoke.

"Look, if you wanna leave...I-I don't blame you," I told Max, solemnly. He scoffed, and shook his head, as though what I had just said had been some kind of joke.

Instead of him leaving, which I had forced myself to somewhat expect in case it actually happened, he closed the space between us and placed a hand behind my head, pulling me close to him.

"What am I gonna do?" I mumbled, more to myself than him.

"We'll think of something," Max replied, his head resting atop mine.

"We?" I asked him, looking up at him.

"You didn't actually think I was gonna leave," he stated, as though it were inconceivable for me to do so. My head returned to his chest, a small smile forming. I almost didn't notice it at first, but I caught myself. I pulled away from him a bit.

"How do you do that?" I inquired, and it _was_ directed at him this time.

"What?"

"Say or do the tiniest, simplest little thing and suddenly it makes me feel better about anything," I continued.

"Maybe it just works because...because I love you," he said, leaning his forehead against mine.

I held my breath for a few seconds, trying to process in my head what had just occurred. Had I gone insane for a second there?

"You love me?" I asked, my voice both groggy and whimsical.

"Yeah," he whispered, and I couldn't help smiling. In fact, my smiling wouldn't even allow me to talk.

"So...um...do you love me?" He questioned me, trying not to sound like he was expecting me to say it back, even though he was.

Instead of answering vocally, I pulled him foward and kissed him gently. But of course, gentle turned to powerful, and we swayed on the spot as a result. When I pulled away, I felt flushed, and he looked it.

"Do you love me?" He asked again, his expression resembling worried now. Apparently, me not saying it was a bad sign to him. Max could be so...Max sometimes.

"I love you," I said slowly, my hands grasping his shoulders. Max sighed with relief. And in all these happenings, I had almost forgotten why I had summoned him here in the first place.

"But what are we gonna _do_?" I brought the mood back to anxiety, glancing down at my stomach, Max's eyes following mine. He didn't seem to have an answer either.

"I...don't know," he admitted.

"What are our parents gonna say?" I continued to ask questions I knew neither of us had the answers to.

"Let's not think about that right now. In fact...I think we should keep it between us for a while," Max responded, and I nodded. But only because I was a coward who didn't want to have to tell anyone about it. Back me into a corner, and I will agree to just about anything.

"Okay," I sighed, the bad feelings coming back, mingling with the good feelings Max gave to me.

"We're gonna be okay, all of us," Max whispered against my cheek, placing his hand against my stomach. He jerked it back suddenly.

"I felt it kick!" He yelled excitedly, and he thoroughly believed this. I smiled sadly, not having the heart to tell him that it wasn't possible...at least, not yet. He read my expression, and once again told me that we would be okay. I wasn't so sure.

**A/N:** FINALLLLLLLY. I hate this chapter so much! But only because it gave me such a hard time...and it didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to. GUH. Anyway...at least chapter 8 is finally up. LOL...poor Max. He's sweet, but still dumb. But I love him that way. Who agrees? Anyway, sorry for making you guys wait so long for this. I hope it was worth the wait. Somehow though, I doubt it. Anyway, gooooooobye!

**Ruina**


	9. Under Cover of Night

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 9 - Under Cover of Night**

**A/N:** I missed 'Detention Election' *cries* I did see the very end of it on Youtube, though. LOL Max and Harper being smooshed together on the Ferris wheel. That was the only part I saw, however. Were there any other Marper moments? TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME...lol. Sorry for taking forever!

**Mood Music:** Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

**Disclaimer:** Aw....I can't think of anything funny to put here. CHOOOOOOOCOLATTTTTTTTTTE.

**Chapter Summary:** Max and Harper sneak around.

~!#$%^&*()_+

_No one will ever know about this. They'll never find out._ I told myself these things countless times. I persisted in trying to convince myself that these things were true, but they were lies. A complete idiot could see that. I was pregnant, and in just a few months time, there would be no way to hide it anymore. The secrets were steadily building, and I didn't like it. There was only one way to change it, but I didn't like that either.

I had begun contemplating the moment when everyone found out. I went through different cycles in my head...potential emotions of the people around me...their reactions. There would be anger, no doubt. Probably sadness and confusion. Uncomfortable questions, eye-closing and head-shaking.

But there was a tiny flicker of hope inside of me, possibly sparking from the tiny life that had started growing. Perhaps after the anger, the crying and the questions...maybe, just maybe there would be...acceptance? This was a long shot, I know, but maybe they would realize there was nothing they could do about it? And besides, teenagers get pregnant all the time, and a lot of the time, their parents come to accept it at some point.

I knew this would never happen with my parents, but the Russos? They were a different story. Maybe they would help us, or at the very least not abandon us. I was afraid of what my parents might do, my father especially.

And if there was alcohol in the mix...I didn't even want to think about it, but I couldn't help it.

It's not like I could run away, even though Max had told me that was an option. He had said if no one could accept what had happened, we could go be happy somewhere else. And while the thought of running away from my school, my best friend and my self-proclaimed second family scared and dismayed me....for Max? I'd have done just about anything. He was forever etched in my being now, there was nothing I could do, or even that I wanted to do, to get rid of him.

I pressed a fragile hand to my own stomach, which would be swollen before long, and took a long, drawn out, deep breath. What was I to do? Even my mostly absent parents had begun to sense my sudden need for isolation from them. My mother had tried to talk to me about what was going on quite a few times now, and I saw something in her eyes I never expected to see. Genuine concern. It both baffled and consumed me. After it happened, and I shooed her away coldly, I would feel painful remorse. Guilt would eat at me, and eventually fade. And then she would come to me again, and the guilt would spring back, fresh, and possibly more intense than before.

I wish I could be as apathetic as Alex in this situation. I contemplated what she would do if she were me. As different as she and I were, I actually looked up to her. She would probably have come right out and said it: "I'm pregnant." And then she would have turned to one of her shocked family members and ordered them to go get her whatever strange thing she was craving at that moment, before plopping down on the couch and watching a horror movie marathon for the rest of the night. And the rest of the family would walk on eggshells around her, until the baby was finally born. And the baby would be just like her, tormenting its uncles and grandparents, and Alex would look at that baby with a proud expression. "That's my girl," she would say, or possibly "That's my boy." And she would live happily ever after, because she would write her story that way. She had the power to do that.

I was a meek, overemotional, self-concious, fearful person, who might as well have been five years old. I sometimes wished that I was still five years old, when the biggest problem I could possibly have was Alex not sharing her crayons with me, or skinned, gravel-embedded knees. Those were the days. Evil Barbies and tea parties. And now my life was secrets on top of more secrets, on top of unplanned pregnancy, on top of being so dependent upon, and loving a boy so much that it actually scared me.

And then it occurred to me that being alone with my own mind was dangerous, and I finally placed an infallible titanium wall in front of my train of thought.

I was seated at the kitchen table, trying to eat cereal, although I was obviously distracted. My mother was home, not having left for work yet. She sat across from me, watching me intently.

"Harper? You okay over there?" She asked me, spooning some of her own cereal into her mouth.

"Yeah," I answered, staring at the center of the table. It seemed like a safe place.

"You look like one of those crazies who likes to walk in traffic with that look on your face," she added, and I rolled my eyes at her use of analogy.

"I'm fine, mother," I replied, my eyes not leaving their transfixed spot on the table.

"All right," she said, her tone becoming impatient. She never did like it when people didn't answer her questions. It drove her crazy.

We finished our breakfast in silence, not daring to look at one another. Mom took both our bowls and sat them in the sink, before walking back to the counter to grab her keys and purse. She was about to leave, before she caught sight of me again.

She surprised me by coming over to me, and kissing me on the forehead.

"I know your dad and I haven't been around much. I'm not going to feed you a bunch of excuses, but I really hope you know how much we love you, Harper. I hope you'll talk to me when you're ready," she said, and I could tell that there were tears in her eyes.

"I love you too, mom," I said involuntarily. I didn't want to give my mom hope that I was going to tell her anything, because I really didn't want to have to tell _anyone_ that I was pregnant. But her words carved themselves into my heart, and nearly choked me with emotion.

She smiled at me, before turning to leave.

As soon as I knew she was gone, I broke down and cried. It lasted for hours, and it hurt like hell. I could repeat everything she said verbatim, even though I wanted to forget. I knew the more I thought about it, the more guilty I would feel...the closer to my mom I would feel...the closer to telling the truth I would feel.

I had plans with Max that night. They were a secret to everyone except Alex. We would just hang out and watch television, maybe. As long as he was there with me, I didn't care what we did. Maybe he could talk me out of telling my mother the truth, the want of which was beginning to grow inside of me, much like the tiny baby was.

I tried to stop thinking about my mom, and start counting down the hours until I would see Max. I straightened up around the house, before thinking about the laughable comparisons between my house and the Russo loft.

The Russo loft was colorful and creative, while my house looked like somewhere Michael Myers would live. The only room with any personality was mine, and even that personality was questionable.

These thoughts brought a bit of cheer to my mind, although they would depress anyone else. They kept my mind off the real problems, that much was certain.

Finally 6:00 rolled around, and Max barged in the front door. I had jokingly told him that since he had seen me naked already, there was really no need to knock anymore. He had blushed furiously, I might add, and I laughed. This was, of course before I found out I was pregnant. Jokes like those didn't seem so appropriate anymore, although memories of them made me smile.

Max kissed me as though we had been married for forty years, and I frowned a bit, hoping he didn't feel that way. While we were in deeply over our heads, we were still young.

Max commented that perhaps I was getting a baby bump, and my face grew so hot that you probably could've grilled hamburgers on it.

"That's impossible," I muttered, and he shrugged it off. I fought the urge to swat him over the head with a nearby magazine, and took a seat on the couch.

"How was your day?" He asked me, and I cringed at this.

"You do realize that you and I are sixteen and seventeen respectively, right? Stop acting like we're old," I told him, before socking him in the arm softly as I was accustomed to.

"Is that a gray hair?" He asked, pointing at my head, at which I sighed unhappily. He had found something that annoyed me, and now he would use it to his full advantage.

He noticed my angry posture, so he apologized. I said nothing.

He slinked closer to me. I remained still.

His eyes were smoldering against my face. I wouldn't look at him.

He finally took charge and turned my head himself, his thumb and forefinger cupping my chin gently. He gazed into my eyes with an expression that told me he was searching for the answers to questions he knew I woudn't answer with words.

"Did I ever tell you that your eyes are beautiful?" He asked, and my face softened. I shook my head no.

Apparently, he took my new expression as permission to kiss me, because he did. It was like no other experience I remember having, so deep was this kiss, so chock full of emotion and passion and love that I almost couldn't bear it.

It wasn't like it was in the snow against that building. It wasn't about discovering new things, it was about revisiting the ones that were already there. Those beautiful things we already felt, they were all there. My heart felt like a blooming rose. There was something about knowing Max and I had created a brand new life, a beautiful life, and that now I had the opportunity to express to him just how I felt about it. It wasn't hopeless, it wasn't squallid or wrong. It was wonderful, and everything would be okay.

I wondered how it would feel to do what we had done drunk, that special connection that we had established, right here. With all these feelings, and all this love I felt for him. It would have been special...it would have been better. We would feel that connection, we would know what it really meant to make love. Even some adults don't know what it means. They take it for granted. They're only in it for the moment. It's just another way to get high.

This kiss seemed to last forever, and I made the (albeit difficult) decision to leave it at just a kiss. It finally ended, and I felt like I had something that I didn't have before he had come over.

"You give me hope...so much hope," I said, feeling delirious from the kiss we had just shared.

"You give me hope, too," he told me, and I was sure it was just because he wasn't sure of what else to say. That was fine, I didn't care one bit. I was just so elated.

"I want to tell my mom," I said suddenly, and it seemed to get very quiet.

"I think I want to tell mine, too," he replied. I looked at him and he looked back, and there was no worry. Only hope.

**A/N:** Wellll, it started out being a hard chapter to write, but then I just opened it up today and went to town on it. I should note that it went completely different than I intended but I'm happy with how it turned out. Hope you are too. Sorry for the late update.


	10. My Hope is Feeling Worn

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 10 - My Hope is Feeling Worn**

**A/N:** I really can't believe how popular this is...I'm really glad you guys enjoy this. It's fairly easy to write, most of the time...because Marper is just awesome, obviously! :) Sorry (once again) for the delay, but I will try to get back on track with quick updates. Well, this and the next chapter will be pretty intense, so be warned.

**Mood Music:** Long Way Down - The Goo Goo Dolls

**Disclaimer:** OMG you know what I wished I owned? A car, money, a good man etc... I think I should focus on those first before I pursue Wizards of Waverly Place.

**Chapter Summary:** The Russos find out about Harper's pregnancy...

~!#$%^&*()_+

Was it normal to be holding your breath this much?

"Probably not," I heard a voice next to me say. I glanced over at Max, whom I assumed the voice had come from. So, I was thinking out loud now, too. Or maybe he was using his wizard powers to read my mind? Now, I was just being paranoid.

I let out the breath I had been holding audibly, and looked around at the bus passengers around me. We were on our way to the Russo loft, to tell them about what had happened...the words were a lump in my throat now. How ever would I get them out in front of the Russos?

We were going to tell them that I was pregnant...that Max and I had slept together very recklessly, and that now the situation had worsened. Every muscle in my body was tense, and my stomach was feeling as queasy as it ever had. I had a strong suspicion that it wasn't connected to the baby. The _baby_... My muscles relaxed a bit at that word entering my mind, and I smiled absentmindedly. I had been doing that a lot more lately, whenever I thought about the life inside of me, that I was nurturing and taking care of already.

Random names had been popping into my head...

Names that would potentially belong to this life, should Max and I ever finalize the decision.

Perhaps Alex could help--

My throat swelled once more. Tonight, I would tell my best friend just what had prompted the relationship between Max and I, and it would be awkward and uncomfortable, and possibly friendship-ending. My eyes glazed over at the thought of losing her. What would my life be like with her absence?

I imagined the look on her face. It mirrored disgust and hatred, more intense than any expression I'd ever seen her wear, and the mere thought of it frightened me. She would glance between Max and I, and her mouth would move, searching for the perfect pain-inducing thing to say, and she would elect to say nothing, because she knew that would hurt the most. Then, she would storm upstairs, Justin in tow, most-likely.

And I would be left with Jerry and Theresa. Theresa would be clutching her chest in shock, probably muttering Spanish profanities, and Jerry would be pursing his lips and shaking his head.

It seemed interesting that I could plan everything they would do, but when it came to my own parents' reaction, nothing came to mind.

I sank lowing into the bus seat, though cowering was probably a better description. I tried to ease my mind by taking in the sights of the bus.

There was an elderly couple in front of us, whispering to each other, before chuckling every so often. I would hear names that were unfamiliar to me from the woman, and the man would nod and smile. I assumed she was informing him of some details that were tied to their friends, or members of their family.

Their hands were clasped, much like mine and Max's, and I grinned lightly at the possibility of being with him for as long as the old man and woman had been with each other.

The woman rested her head against the man's shoulder and closed her eyes, and I matched her movement, laying my head against Max. I felt him nestle closer to me, and kiss the top of my head.

My eyes wandered to a young girl, maybe twenty or so, who was decked out in black. Her dark hair was in numerous braids, all of them ending with a metallic bead, embellished in what looked like decorative, acryllic vines. Her eyes were sloshed with eyeliner and mascara, which seemed about ready to run any second, because she looked quite emotional.

Her cell phone was in hand, and she appeared to be texting. Whoever was texting her must have been sending some pretty upsetting messages, because the girl's eyes would flicker with anger, before glazing over with sorrow, as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

I bit my lip, wondering what the other person was saying to her. I felt a bit empathetic. I was soon to be in the same boat as her, with people saying hurtful things to me also, or at least I expected as much.

There was also a young mother on the bus, her pretty daughter seated next to her, looking polite. She would tug on her mother's dress every so often, to whisper a question that went unheard. The mother was ignoring the child, for whatever reason. I frowned, wanting to speak up - to tell the mother to pay attention to her child.

It took me a moment to remember that my parents had been the same way with me throughout my whole life. I felt the sudden urge to hug the little girl, and relay my past to her, telling her that it would be alright.

I also wanted to empathize with the young woman who was texting, seemingly ostracized by someone, perhaps for a poor choice, or just for the fun of it.

And the old couple in the seat in front of us. I wanted to ask them how they got to where they were. How they maintained such happiness and love for each other through all these years.

My reflective thoughts were replaced with a new one - my past, present and potential future were all right here on this bus. The little girl being ignored, the young woman who was being harrassed by someone, and the happy elderly couple.

While the last one seemed rather welcoming, I felt abashed by the fact that my life was being thrown in my face, when I was trying to get my mind off of it. I glanced up at the ceiling of the bus, though I was really casting my eyes at God.

"Very funny," I muttered to myself.

"Huh?" Max groaned, and he had obviously fallen asleep, because he sounded groggy.

"It's nothing," I replied, my eyes still glued to the top of the bus.

Max and I both jumped as the bus came to a halt at the entrance of Waverly Place, the quaint shopping district filled with boutiques and delis, and the handful of other people on the bus filed out in front of us.

I gave Max a fearful glance, before rising to my feet, and he shared my expression. This was my idea, I remembered, so what was I freaking out for? I saw Max press his lips together, his whole body tense, much like mine was.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked me, his eyes wide with curiosity, and possibly with the hope that I might change my mind.

"No, but we have to do this," I answered, trying to sound as firm as possible, and not succeeding. Any resolve I had been carrying was dwindling fast, like water down a drain. I gave Max's hand a squeeze, before pulling him along the aisle and down the steep, metal stairs of the bus.

Together, we stared down the dark path of Waverly Place. It was evening, so most of the shops were closing up. One by one, the patches of light that the windows were casting were flickering out, and Max and I were being left with the dim glow of streetlamps.

I clasped his hand protectively, before leading him to the front of the Waverly Sub Station. I held my breath for a moment, before letting it go, and I prepared to make my way inside, before Max stopped me. I stared at him with a vacant expression, hoping that he wouldn't try to talk me out of this.

"I just want you to know..." He trailed off, but didn't finish.

"What?" I inquired, his vague comment only adding to the tension I felt.

"No matter what happens in there, I love you. No matter what _happens_, I will always love you. O-okay?" He stammered, probably unsure of just what the result of us telling his parents what we had done would be. The true intent of what he was saying scared me even more. _No matter what happens..._ Just what was going to happen in there?

"I love you, too," I said through clenched teeth and a quivering lip.

Max placed his hands on my shoulders and his lips softly against mine, but I was shaking too badly to respond. My stomach was doing flips, and I could barely move, other than the trembling my body was doing involuntarily. My breathing was ragged and panicked, but that was to be expected, I suppose.

I glanced up at the terrace above us, perhaps to make sure no one had seen us. There was no one up there.

"Let's just get this over with," I said with a wavering voice that broke several times. Max frowned at me, and looked at the ground, before following me inside.

The restaurant had closed recently. The chairs were stacked on the tables carelessly, which told me Alex had the last shift. It was dark, except for the decorative bulbs on the prop subway car on the far left of the restaurant. The darkness only intensified my dread.

The walk upstairs was silent and riddled with negativity. My tension-fraught shoulders were pointed up in a defensive position, as I prepared to knock on the door. Max however, just walked right in, as I remembered he lived there, and him knocking would be kind of silly.

From behind him, I saw that Jerry was watching some type of sporting event, while Theresa sat in the armchair reading the newspaper. Justin and Alex were arguing over something in the kitchen...that is, until Max and I walked in. Then, all eyes were on us. Alex's mouth hung open a bit, and the rest of the Russos looked confused.

Theresa's expression was not unkind, though with her eyes, she was asking what the heck Max and I were doing together. This made me even more nervous.

"What's...going on?" She asked, trying to keep her tone friendly.

"Uh...Uh, they were uh...working on a prooo-_ject_," Alex attempted to cover for us, before realizing something serious was going on when she looked at my face. Justin looked between her and I, knowing he had been left out of the loop on something.

"Yeah, what is going on?" He asked, looking for any excuse to get Alex in trouble. If only he knew that would not be the end result of this catastrophe. I struggled to speak, but choked on my words, and even I didn't know how they were going to manifest.

Max stared at me, avoiding everyone else's eyes, causing even more attention to be brought to me. I was uncomfortable, more so than I had ever been in the Russo loft. This was even stranger than finding out that Justin, Alex and Max were wizards. Stranger than a family of vampires moving in down the street. Stranger than all of Alex's ex-boyfriends combined.

"I--We," I started out, before changing my opening and motioning to both Max and myself, "sort of have something to tell you."

The Russos were unflinching, and overtly curious, so much so that it was painful. My delay in answering seemed to add to it.

"Well, out with it," Theresa demanded, though still possessing that motherly tone. It only made it hurt worse.

"HarperandIhavebeenseeingeachother," Max blurted out, so fast that I doubted anyone understood it. Everyone except for me, that is. My mouth hung open, at his abruptness, before pursing my lips in disbelief, and squeezing my eyes shut. I wished I was far away from there, at that moment.

Alex's mouth curved upward into an amused smile, but only because she knew only half the story. I was sure that smirk would be wiped away momentarily.

Jerry and Theresa looked surprised, and Justin looked weirded out. I wrung my hands together absently, waiting for one of them to say something.

"Uh..." Jerry grunted, squinting his eyes in confusion.

"Well..." Theresa added, trying to find something else to say, quite obviously.

"What?" Justin exclaimed, but everyone ignored him.

"Well, I always considered you apart of this family, Harper. To be honest, I always assumed it would be made official someday, though I didn't expect Max to be involved," Theresa replied, chuckling when she mentioned Max. He looked offended by her statement.

My eyes filled with tears, because my guilt was steadily building. Theresa gaited over to me and pulled me against her in a warm hug, and I started to sob.

"Oh, honey...I don't know why you felt like you had to hide this from us. If you and Max like each other, then by all means, be together. I'd rather him have found you than some creature from the wizard world that could be a potential threat to our family," Theresa consoled me, though as she finished, she glared at Justin and Alex. They looked abashed.

It was all too much. I didn't deserve this kind of treatment after what I had done. I had ruined Max's life, even if he didn't realize it, and his family was here trying to make me feel better. It had to end.

"Mrs. Russo, I'm pregnant," I cried out, before flinching at my own words.

**A/N:** I'm sorry :\ I know you are all cussing me out right now...I'm sorry I had to do a cliffhanger, but I really needed to update, lol... Soo, I hope you liked it, and I'll try to get the next chapter up quickly.


	11. Exposed

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 11 - Exposed**

**A/N:** I love love love you guys! Thank you for being so understanding about the last chapter. On the upside, ending the last chapter where I did will make this one longer most likely. It's awesome that some of you are being converted toward the Marper fandom. I agree, they are an aquired taste, but once you start to like them, it becomes very addictive. xD

**Mood Music:** False Pretense - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Wizards of Waverly Place. I could use some Kleenex, though. Sick as a dog.

**Chapter Summary:** And in an instant, things began to spiral down...

~!#$%^&*()_+

"Mrs. Russo, I'm pregnant," I cried out, before flinching at my own words. It took only a second for Theresa to let go of me, doing so in order to take a closer look at my face.

"What?" She whispered back, as I imagined that her shock wouldn't allow her voice to get any louder. At least, not yet. I nodded, dropping my head to stare at the floor, ashamed of what I had said.

"That's not possible," she continued, her head darting back and forth from Max and back to me. I stole a glance at Alex, who, as I had suspected, was no longer smiling. Her eyes were simply burning a hole in me, or perhaps a million holes. They were ripping me apart from the inside and outward. I lost the ability to breathe right, as I glanced at each of the Russos, saving Max for last.

He looked sympathetically at me, and, staring into his dark eyes, I repeated every word he had said to me outside in my head. Perhaps that was the purpose of his expression.

"Yeah, you and Max couldn't have..." Jerry trailed off, afraid to finish the thought out loud.

"We did," Max informed them, not taking his eyes off of me.

It was as though since Max had said it, they could finally believe it, which I found slightly ironic. Max was about as good at telling the truth as his sister was.

I was sure Theresa's eyes were going to pop out of her head. Jerry's face turned an unsafe shade of purple, while Justin and Alex looked confused and shocked.

"I don't even know what to say," Theresa spoke up, in a low whisper, placing her hand over her mouth. She sat down on the couch, looking straight ahead, and I had never felt worse in my life.

"How long has this been going on?" Jerry demanded, turning the television off, and rising from the couch, only to start pacing.

"A little over a month," I said, in a low, sad voice.

"A month! You're together a month, and you're already _sleeping_ together?" Theresa shouted, all of a sudden not content with sitting down. Or at least that's the impression I got when she jumped up, her eyes even wider than before.

"We weren't together when it happened," Max declared, and everyone looked confused again. Jerry and Theresa were both squinting, and Theresa's hands were up in the air, as though she were trying to measure it.

"So...wait...what are you saying?" She questioned him, looking between us again.

"We've been together for a month. We slept together a month ago," Max clarified, but his words made it sound so much worse than before.

The Russos looked even more shocked and appalled, and I began to think there was no limit to how much so they could be. Justin and Alex continued to be silent, and not knowing what they were thinking was almost worse than having them yelling at me like their parents were.

"S-so-so what, you just, on a spur of the moment decision, decide to have sex? I don't buy that. That's doesn't sound like either one of you," Jerry exclaimed, shaking his head, much like I had envisioned many times before.

"It wasn't like that...exactly..." I managed to choke out. I didn't want to be here, and I wanted to continue telling the story even less, but I had promised that I would tell the truth, and it would be the whole truth.

"Well what was it like, then, Harper?" Theresa asked me, and there was an icy tone to her voice that sent a sick feeling straight to the pit of my stomach. I had a feeling she was already blaming me in her head, whether or not she knew the whole story. After all, Max was her son. I could understand her viewpoint on this. After all, I was older than him. I would be considered the influence here.

I wanted to leave, but I knew I couldn't stop now.

"We were drunk," I admitted, and I couldn't meet her eyes when I said it, but I risked a glance after the words had left my mouth. Her eyes grew big and her jaw dropped, as though she believed it, but only for a moment.

"No, no! _My son_ doesn't drink," she informed me, in a voice that was anything but motherly or caring or kind.

"Think about it Theresa. There had to have been _something_ else going on. They wouldn't have done this if they had been thinking clearly," Jerry pointed out, and Theresa seemed to agree with him.

"So, what, were you bored around happy hour or something?" She asked coldly, this time to both of us.

"It was just kind of there. I wanted to know what it tasted like, but...after we started, we couldn't stop," Max added, defensively. I could tell by his body language that it was taking everything he had not to just run straight to me. I could relate.

"How could you both be so careless? You were both raised better than that!" Theresa shouted. I was almost relieved, because that sounded like something a mother on the brink of forgiveness would say, even though I _hadn't_ really been rasied better than that.

"I'm so sorry," I could only whisper to her, and look crestfallen.

"Harper, I think you should go now," she replied, in a tone that was rather calm, given the situation.

I didn't expect that answer, and I was embarrassed because I knew my face probably reflected that.

"This family needs to have a _serious_ talk," she continued, glaring at Max. I could only nod, and turn to leave.

"Mom, if she goes, I go!" I heard Max exclaim, and I felt a tear escape my eye, after a surprisingly long time of resisting the urge to cry.

"Max, it's okay. I have to tell my parents, anyway," I blurted out, even though I had never intended to tell them on my own. I wasn't going to let Max dig himself any deeper into the hole I was in.

I didn't give him another opportunity to speak, because I high tailed it out of there as fast as I could, but stopped after I closed the door. I heard Max's voice, but couldn't decipher what he was saying.

"Well, obviously we did something wrong when we raised you!" Theresa yelled back at him. I heard feet running across the loft, so I quickly made my exit, thinking that maybe Max was coming after me and hoping that he would give it up if he didn't see me still standing there.

As I rush ed out the door of the restaurant, sobbing as hard as my feeble body could muster, I was met by surprise with a loud voice from above me. I looked up to see Max standing on the terrace, leaned over and looking down at me.

"They can't keep me here forever. I'm gonna see you again," he stated robotically, almost like he was thinking out loud. I wondered to myself who he was trying to convince more. Me or himself?

"I know," was all I could seem to say.

"Just remember what I said before. Don't ever forget it, okay?" He added, sounding on the verge of tears himself. I glanced back up at him, and indeed, there were tears trailing their way down his boyish face. It pushed me over the edge, and I had to cover my mouth to keep my voice down as I cried out again. My body trembled, and I yearned to be near him again.

I heard a member of his family yell from inside.

"I love you. You know, I know I'm gonna catch hell in here, but it's worth it," he said, wiping his face, letting his masculinity take over, or perhaps trying to spare the few shards of my heart that remained. He gave me that lopsided grin I adored, and I tried as hard as I could to smile back at him. His eyes lingered on me for a little while longer, before he fnally waved goodbye and went back inside.

My crying resumed as scheduled. I looked both ways down the street, though there was no one around. I wondered where I would go, but then remembered what I had told the Russos. I said that I would go tell my parents, and I knew they would call them and check to see if I had. There was no way out, I realized...

I decided to walk home, even though it probably wasn't the safest choice. However, I didn't feel like waiting for the bus, or having people stare at my sobbing figure on the subway. Besides, it was slower, and I would waste as much time as possible before I dropped this bomb on my parents. Every crack in the sidewalk seemed to make me stumble, because I was somewhere else entirely, and I couldn't bring myself to pay attention to what was in the moment with me.

When I finally reached my house, I saw a light on in the kitchen. My stomach sank even lower. Of course, the one night I needed them to work late, they were home early. I groaned audibly, kicking the bottom step, before crying out in pain at my moronic act of frustration. I pursed my lips together tightly, trying to put all my weight on my other foot.

When the pain had started to subside, I took several deep breaths and made my way up the stairs. I placed my hand on the doorknob, readying myself. I took it back off, starting to imagine my father's reaction to the news in my head. I repeated the on/off cycle a few times, before the door was pulled out from beneath my hand. It was my father, his cold, blue eyes staring at me vacantly. Thankfully, I had inherited my mother's brown eyes.

"Are you going to stand out here all night, Harper?" He asked me hypothetically, before disappearing back into the living room. I smelled the familiar sourness of vodka in the trail of air he had left behind, and all of a sudden I wished Max was there with me...

I saw the shadowy light of the fireplace flickering on the hallway wall, but I felt nothing but a numbing cold. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, taking my time hanging my coat on the rack. As I passed the kitchen, I heard my mom sniffling from inside. I caught a glimpse of her standing over the stove, preparing a dinner in silence. She turned to the left to get a spoon out of the drawer, and I caught sight of her red, puffy eyes. She had been crying.

I felt a shudder pass through me, as my mind wandered to what could possibly have happened while I was gone. Consumed with my own thoughts, I hadn't realized my mom had finally noticed my presence.

"I'm making lasagna," she informed me, with a sickeningly placid smile. My stomach lurched at the thought, and smell, of food at that particular moment. I couldn't tell if it was pregnancy nausea or I'm-about-to-tell-my-parents-I'm-pregnant-at-seventeen nausea.

And the fact that my mom was trying to play it up like nothing was wrong told me that something was _very_ wrong. As worried as I was about what had happened, I was eager to get my news over with as soon as possible, so we could get to the murder part of the evening. Besides, maybe my pregnancy would ease the tension between them and they could both turn against me. Crazy as it sounds, I would have been okay with that.

I gave my mom a grave look as soon as she was facing me again.

"What is it?" She asked hesitantly, and I assumed she thought I was going to interrogate her about her fight with dad.

"I need to talk to you and dad in the living room. It's really important," I forced out, trying to remain as stoic as I could. She sighed worriedly, before tossing the dish towel on the counter and following behind me.

I could almost hear the discomfort between my parents as soon as they were in the same room. My father wouldn't look at either of us, and my mom's eyes were glued to me. I couldn't decide which made me more uncomfortable.

"What's going on, Harper?" Mom asked, concern apparent on her face.

"It's um..." I trailed off, not knowing exactly where to start. It was easier to tell the Russos, but only because I had assumed they wouldn't take it as hard as my parents would. But, in reality, their reaction had pretty much shattered all of my hope.

"Would you please pay attention, Robert? Our daughter is trying to tell us something important," My mother said, coldly.

"Don't start with me, Anna," he warned her. Normally, I would've been happy with a distraction, but this wasn't what I'd had in mind.

"Please, I have something to say," I interjected, hoping to quell the rising anger in the room.

"Go ahead," My mom prodded me, in that sort of 'calm before the storm' type of voice that Mrs. Russo also had before I told _her_ the truth. It wasn't exactly a good sign. I sighed, thinking about the right way to say it, if there even was one. I had just sort of blurted it out to the Russos, and that had turned out just wonderfully.

"Something happened a month ago that was really...serious..." I stammered, knowing I would never find good enough words. My mom tensed beside me, and I saw my father's jaw clench.

"Oh God...Oh my God!" My mother exclaimed, looking rather faint all of a sudden. I felt a welling up of indecipherable emotion. She already figured it out.

"I'm sorry..." I found myself muttering the same stupid apologies I'd try to pass off on the Russos, and I became angry at myself.

"You're pregnant?" She asked, her assumption being confirmed when she looked at my face. My father jumped to his feet, and I flinched out of habit.

"Baby, why? This isn't like you," My mom asked, her voice finding it hard to pass through the lump in her throat. I opened my mouth to speak, but my father wasn't having it.

"Who?" He questioned me, his face like a stone, and his eyes darker than I'd ever seen them.

"What?" I asked, not understanding his vague question.

"Who got you pregnant?" He continued, the same frightening tone as before. Yeah, like I was really going to answer him. If I told him it was Max, I'd probably have been attending his funeral later that week.

"Harper!" He shouted forbodingly, and I knew that things would not turn out well for me if I refused him this information.

"Look, just yell at _me_ okay? This was my fault," I said automatically. He wasn't going to lay a finger on _my_ Max.

"I didn't raise a slut, and lo and behold, I've got one standing right in front of me!" He replied, laughing in a slurred voice. I didn't want to cry, but who wouldn't if their father said that to them?

"Robert!" I heard my mother yell, and his drunken laughter subsided.

"Yep, she's just like her mother," he added, smirking like the most hilarious thing had just happened. I knew it was the alcohol talking.

"I am _not_ a slut and neither is my mother," I said, in the most threatening voice I'd ever heard myself use. This sobered dear old dad up a bit.

"Well, I hope you don't think you're keeping it. You're going right down to that clinic tomorrow and-"

"You can go to hell!" I screamed at him, for even insinuating what he just had. That was when I felt a familiar surge of fear suddenly, as my father lifted an open hand. But, as my mom rushed to my side, he dropped it. My eyes filled with tears, trying to get that image out of my head. My mom hugged me close to her, but wouldn't look away from my father.

"Out!" My mother screamed suddenly, and my father's eyes landed on her, as well as mine.

"Excuse me?" He asked, surprisingly calm, considering what he had almost just done. But then, that was how he always was when this happened.

"I want you out of here, now," My mom told him, cradling my head and speaking a bit more quietly this time.

"Anna-" my father began, and I had a feeling he was about to start with his insincere apologies, but I was fooled. Seeing as how my mom wouldn't even let him begin them, I hoped this time would be different.

"Dammit, get out!" My mom resorted to yelling again, but given the subject matter, I could happily ignore my throbbing eardrums.

My father hung his head, pretending to be ashamed of what had transpired, but I knew better. To my utter shock (and relief), my father decided to take off, when my mom threatened to call the police.

If I hadn't been pregnant, I wouldn't have cared what my father did to me. But put either my baby or Max's life in danger, and I wouldn't stand for it. Both were and always would be my whole life.

I admitted this to my mother, as we sat side by side on the sofa, hugging and crying. She had even offered me lasagna a few times, but I refused. I honestly didn't feel much like eating.

"So, it is Max Russo," She asked, surprisingly calm at this revelation. It sounded more like a statement then a question. I nodded into her shoulder, which my head had sought comfort in. She made a tiny 'hmm' noise, as I delved into thoughts of Max. It felt safe to do so.

"I love him so much..." I cried, remembering how the Russos had reacted.

"What if his parents never let me see him again?" I asked, though I knew my mom didn't have the answer to that question.

"Who could ever leave you?" My mom replied, her tone indicating that she wore a smile. I glanced up at her.

"What do you mean?" I inquired, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. There was far too much crying that night.

"Even if they locked him in a cage and threw away the key, he'd probably still find his way back to you," she answered, brushing some hair out of my eyes.

"Why do you say that?" I asked. She knew nothing of my relationship with Max, so I didn't really understand how she knew this.

"Because, you may not know it, but I've seen you two together. At the park, and leaving the mondoplex a couple of times. I could tell by the way he looked at you that he felt very strongly for you. I just...I just wish you would've waited a while..." she explained, sounding grave again.

"I know. I'm sorry," I replied, my tears becoming fresh again.

"What's done is done. No one can change it, so we're gonna have to live with it. I love you no matter what, you know that, right?" She said. '_I love you no matter what.'_ _I wonder what Max is doing_...

"Yeah," I answered mindlessly. My mother mistook it for fatigue, which I was kind of grateful for, because then, she suggested that I go get some sleep. We exchanged 'I love yous' and a few more terms of endearment, before I finally escaped to my bedroom entrance...

Where I promptly started crying again. I hastily pushed my hair back, annoyed with how many tears I was shedding, and how bad my head was starting to hurt. The numbing cold wasn't helping matters.

As I entered my room, though, it was like entering Heaven. An intoxicating warmth enveloped me, and it almost knocked me backward. And that's when I spotted my favorite tuft of brown hair, appearing to sprout out of my pillow, beneath it, a beautiful smile forming.

"Max?" I whispered, in disbelief.

**A/N:** TWO cliffhangers in a row? What's wrong with me? LOL I know, I'm sorry, but the next chapter will be worth the wait, if there even is one. I'm feeling pretty inspired for it. ;)


	12. Warmth

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 12 - Warmth**

**A/N:** No, your eyes aren't deceiving you. I really am updating again already. So, this was actually supposed to be part of the last chapter, but I decided to give you guys a strictly fluffy chapter, because I love ya! :) Also, some of you might be interested in the fact that I'm making a Marper fanvid. Song is a surprise. I'll let you know when it gets done (if ever that happens lol) I just need to compile all my clips. :D

**Mood Music:**Sanctuary - Utada Hikaru (from the Kingdom Hearts 2 soundtrack)

**Disclaimer:** Wizards of Waverly Place belongs to the genius Todd J. Greenwald. AKA my hero! WOO. Hey Todd, I'll love you even more if you make Marper happen in the fourth season. Just sayin'. -clicks tongue-

**Chapter Summary:** "So how'd you get away?" Not that it mattered. All that mattered was that we were together again.

~!#$%^&*()_+

I couldn't believe my eyes. It was too good to be true. Max was stretched out across my bed, his eyes closed in a deep slumber, his mouth twisting upward for some unknown reason. He had his wand resting on his chest, pointed at the ceiling, a soft glow of orange sparks flowing out of it at a gentle speed. I wanted to go shake him awake, wrap my arms around him and never let go, but my conscience wouldn't allow me to intentionally wake him. _So I'll do it unintentionally_, I told myself, with a small smile.

After closing my door, I made my way over to my bed and peered over him. He looked so perfect. For the first time since I'd found out the Russos were wizards, the knowledge that his wand was so close to me, and performing some type of spell didn't bother me at all.

_How did he get here?_ I wondered. There's no way his parents would have let him come to my house. I glanced at the clock. _Especially at 11:00 at night._

He made a soft noise, and my smile grew wider still. His lips were slightly parted, and I got the sudden urge to kiss him...and I decided to act on it. Maybe it was taking advantage of him. I'm pretty sure he didn't mind, though.

I placed my hand on his cheek and covered his mouth with mine, our lips moving in a gentle rhythm, even though he was still asleep. When I pulled away, I heard a sound of protest, before finally being able to gaze into his sleepy eyes. He looked up at me, clearly unfocused, and blinked a couple of times. I sat beside him on the edge of the bed.

Once he finally realized he was awake now, he bolted up and enveloped me in his arms, and I hugged him as hard as I could without hurting him. For some reason, I couldn't find it in me to cry. Perhaps all my tears were gone? Maybe I was too exhausted? I didn't care at that moment.

"I've been waiting for you," he informed me in a groggy voice, not letting go of me.

"I saw," I answered, my voice mixed with the joy from seeing him, and the strain from all the crying I'd done earlier. Finally he leaned back to look at me. His eyes widened when he saw mine, and he seemed alarmed.

"What happened?" He asked, forcing himself to be more alert.

"Well, I told my parents," I said, letting out a heavy breath, and feeling strangely relaxed after doing so. Max furrowed his brow.

"I should've been with you," he muttered. The bad thing was, he didn't know even half of what had happened. And I wasn't going to upset him by telling him.

"It's okay. I know you were tied up. My dad left, and my mom...I think she's accepting it," I explained, nodding my head.

"Why did your dad leave?" Max questioned me, and I admonished myself mentally, for I had not considered that he would ask me this.

"Um...the accepting thing? Not so much..." I told him, shaking my head and pursing my lips in a sarcastic manner. Max placed a hand on my shoulder and pulled me to him, and I leaned against him happily.

"When did you get here?" I asked, nuzzling his jaw with my nose. He chuckled at this.

"'Bout an hour ago," he said, rubbing my back soothingly. I noted that his wand now lay on my bedside table, forgotten, but still emitting sparks.

"So how'd you get away?" I asked. Not that it mattered. All that mattered was that we were together again. But, I had to admit, I was genuinely interested to find this out, although I already had a sneaking suspicion that magic was involved. I was also impressed that Max managed to zap himself over here.

"Alex zapped me," he replied, and my head left his shoulder rather quickly to look at him squarely.

"Alex?" I repeated. The fact that Alex would be of help to either me or Max after everything that had happened that night was inconceivable. I voiced this opinion. Max shared in my surprise, but apparently, more had happened at the Russo's than even I could have imagined.

"I didn't expect it either. After my parents finally stopped yelling and went to bed, I went up to my room. Alex was already in there, and to be honest, I was a _little_ scared. She asked me why we did what we did, and I told her everything. I told her about the drinking, and...just everything," He admitted, and though I had made him promise not to tell anyone about my dad's alcoholism, I couldn't find it in me to be mad at him at that time.

"And? What'd she say?" I asked, a little nervous about where Max's conversation with his sister had ended up, but then I remembered, she was the one who had helped him get there.

"She said she forgives you," Max answered, beaming at me, knowing what Alex's continued friendship would mean to me. I felt my heart becoming whole again at that moment. I had my mom, my best friend and the two loves of my life in Max and the baby. I had a lot going for me, I realized, and I couldn't stop smiling at the thought.

"Well...that's...really good," I stammered, trying to choke back the tears I couldn't find before. Max pulled me close to him again, and the warm air in the room couldn't compare to the warmth of his sleepy skin.

"I'm gonna stay with you tonight, if it's okay," he stated, hesitantly, as though he couldn't forsee my reaction. Although the thought made me ecstatic, I didn't see how it was possible.

"I'd love that, you don't even know how much I would love that, but...But what if your parents go to your bedroom and you're not in there? What if _my_ mom comes in here to check on me while you're here? I mean, I know I said she seemed to be accepting it, but I don't think we should push her too far," I replied, chuckling, although hearing that he wanted to stay with me, but knowing he couldn't disappointed me beyond reason.

"Ha, no worries. Alex put another charm on me. If my parents or your mom even _think_ of 'checking in', I'll automatically be poofed back to my room," he explained to me coolly, and suddenly I felt my cheeks flush, at the thought of spending the night with him. Or maybe it was the enchantingly warm air, I couldn't tell.

"If that happens, I'm going to be really mad..." I said, giggling like crazy, perhaps from being nervous.

This would have been the first time I spent the night with Max since...that first time. Heh...interesting.

He scooted over to the far side of my thankfully queen-sized bed, and I lay back beside him. He rolled to his side, to peer over me like I was some kind of national treasure, although he fit that description better than I did. His eyes twinkled in the faint glow of his wand, which just added to the effect of his mesmerizing smile. He placed a hand to my stomach, and left it there, before lifting my shirt a little ways. Maybe, if there was even an inkling that things were about to turn racy, I should've stopped him, but I didn't...

Thankfully, he just sat up and lowered his lips to my stomach, placing a soft kiss right above my navel. I let out an involuntary giggle, because it tickled me, and he glanced at me like I was crazy.

"Sorry," I responded to his expression, placing a hand over my eyes in embarrassment, and still laughing. He bent his head again, but stopped short of kissing me this time.

"Your momma's crazy," he whispered, and I realized he was talking to the baby, in the softest, most loving voice I had ever heard. I felt my eyes watering again, and I almost felt like I was interrupting a moment between them, so I just smiled and said nothing.

"Are you a boy, or are you a girl?" Max asked my tummy, before placing an ear to it. I had to bite my lip from bursting into a fit of laughter, and I secretly hoped that he didn't actually expect the baby to respond. My baby was going to share those genes, you know?

"Please be a boy! I can't deal with another Alex," he said, patting my stomach as though it were a cat. I felt I had to interject this time.

"Hey! Alex is wonderful. If it weren't for her, you wouldn't be here with me right now," I chuckled, before taking a turn for the assertive, and pulling his mouth towards mine. He stretched his arm behind my back, and mine instinctively wrapped around his neck, my hands tangling in his brown hair. I didn't know how limited our time together would be after this, so I was going to take advantage of the opportunity.

The kisses were no more intense than any of our others, but it did seem a bit different lying down, I thought. To my chagrin, Max would pull away every so often.

"How far," he began, "do you want this," we exchanged two more feverish kisses before he was able to finish, "to go?"

I finally stopped forcing myself on the poor boy and actually looked at him for a moment. His eyes were lust-filled slits, and his breathing was uneven, much like mine was. He continued to look at me expectantly, and I finally began giving the matter some thought.

Both of us were being pushed to the edge, and I believed it may have been too far to turn back. I wanted him, possibly more than I had ever wanted anything in my life before that moment. To be that close to him again, it was the only thing I was missing. I thought back to when we kissed on the living room sofa, how intense and beautiful that was. I had wanted to take it so much further, and now it was even harder to resist.

But how exactly would we pull this off? My mom was in the house, too. I figured she'd probably hear us.

"I want you..." I confessed with a sheepish grin, and he smiled back, taking that as permission, and he bent to my mouth again. I found it hard to pull away, but I finally found the strength.

"But my mom..." I trailed off, glancing beyond the closed door, to where I knew her room to be.

I saw Max's hand reached behind my head, and when he pulled it back, he was holding his wand, and wearing a devilish smirk. At that look, I couldn't help but laugh. After my giggles had subsided, I gave Max a serious look.

"Are you sure?" I asked him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Harper, I love you. Don't feel like you're the only one who wants this. Trust me, I'm pretty sure I want this way more than you do. And I don't want you to feel guilty this time, okay?" He said, referring to my automatic reaction of self-blame to pretty much everything.

I took a nervous breath or two, before nodding slowly. Regardless of how much I wanted this, it would truly be the first time I would knowingly experience it, and knowing it was the same for Max was endearing if anything. Still, I was a little scared of how it would be. What if, since we were both clear-headed, we wouldn't enjoy it?

I shook my head physically, throwing the thought from my head as I did. If I were going to be that close to Max again, it would be impossible not to enjoy it. I smiled at the possibility of how it would feel. Both physically and mentally.

Looking into his eyes, knowing he was thinking the same things, I put my hand softly behind his head and pulled him down. Something told me the faint warmth we were feeling would soon turn to a heat we'd never experienced before.

**A/N:** RUH ROH. Okay, so I was arguing with myself (you guys ever do that?) about whether or not to let them go all the way. Finally I was just like, screw it. They've been through enough, and it's not even close to being over. Let 'em have a little fun while it lasts. "Okay" I told myself, and the rest is insane asylum history. By the way, can somebody get me out of here? Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. The next few chapters are probably going to be a bit difficult to stomach. .


	13. Cometing Down

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 13 - Cometing Down**

**A/N:** Uh oh. Lucky number 13. Sorry Ria...I really really am! You're probably going to be really upset. -hands you some tissues- Yeah, it's going to be rough for the next few chapters. This chapter mentions 'The Notebook' several times, and it contains spoilers for the movie. If you have not seen it, be warned. But you really should watch it. It's my favorite movie ever (Next to WoWP the Movie).

**Mood Music:** No One - Alicia Keys

**Disclaimer:** I wish. I also don't own the Notebook.

**Chapter Summary:** Harper finally comes into contact with the Russos...

~!#$%^&*()_+

This time was different. Unlike last time, I didn't expect to be alone when I awoke. I expected Max to be lying right there beside me, smiling at me with his tired eyes. I did not get my wish. I felt alone, and I shivered from the feeling. Without thinking, I reached across the bed and ran my hand along the empty sheets. Not feeling anything even resembling Max, I darted upward and looked around. Wiping a limp hand against each of my eyelids, I let out a groan.

He was nowhere to be found, though I still felt him faintly on every inch of me. A shaky smile gave way to a few tears, and I thought about what a dangerous love this was becoming for me. Without Max around, I felt an utter emptiness in my heart that couldn't be filled by anything but being with him.

The night we had spent together had been the best I could ever remember. It had been beautiful, just like I had always pictured it. But, at that moment, thinking back on it, it probably wasn't the right decision. All those feelings I had felt for Max, the selfless love, the need to be around him...they had been intensified. Pathetically so, in fact.

Just sitting here in my room, even after sharing that wonderful night with him, I felt his painstaking absence. Every moment that he wasn't with me would be excruciating, I could feel it already.

How would I see him? Just show up on the Russo's doorstep with a big smile and say "Is Max around?" That probably wouldn't turn out well, but that was just a guess.

I wondered which household had caused Max to disappear. Had my mom come to check on me? Or maybe the Russo prison wardens had been making their rounds. Whoever it had been, I wasn't particularly happy with them.

I had thought about calling Alex, but I didn't want to risk getting another Russo on the phone. That would have been uncomfortable.

My mom had to work that day, so I was completely alone in the house, _again_. Alone, I was basically useless. I had always been immature when it came to that sort of thing. But, as my hand instinctively flattened to my stomach, I realized I was not alone.

My baby was here with me, and I smiled at that. My baby...and Max's baby. I continued smiling, as I thought about Max being apart of me forever. He would eternally be imprinted on me, no matter what. After all, we shared a child now. The most binding thing two people can share, and I shared it with Max. Happiness swirled around my emptiness, giving me an on-the-fence sort of feeling.

I sighed, forcing my tired body out of bed and approached the window. There was a lot of slush around from the melting snow, and it looked like an unfavorable day to be outside. I was slightly thankful that I didn't have to be, though I would have gladly braved the day if it meant seeing Max.

I frowned slightly, remembering that I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for the next day, the work of my mother. She wanted to make sure the baby was healthy, and that I was as well. I felt a little guilty that I had not even considered going to a doctor, and I cursed my lack of maternal instinct. Just when was it supposed to kick in, anyway?

I grabbed some clean clothes from my dresser, opting for a hot shower to pass a little time. After that was out of the way, I forced some breakfast down, though I had no desire for it.

I finally settled on watching a movie to calm my restlessness. 'The Notebook'? It was my favorite movie of all time, but I would be a blubbering mess at the end of it. Not only because of the movie itself, but because Max was not there to watch it with me. He turned out to be more entertaining than the movie half the time. He would ask me the same questions each time we watched it.

"Didn't they get together in real life?" He would ask, referring to the films' stars, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.

"Yeah, they got married," I would answer.

"Why'd he have to dangle from a Ferris wheel just to get her to go out with him?" Came the next question.

"Well, she's with that other guy. Plus, she's sort of high society, and he's poor. I guess he thought he needed extreme measures," I would reply, giggling.

"What's that song he's humming?" He would inquire of me.

"I...'m not sure," I would say, trying to think back on it. I never did remember the song in the movie.

"If you were rich, and I was poor, do you think we still would've liked each other?" He'd eventually ask, and I was amused by the fact that he used "liked" to describe the feelings between us. He was wayyyy off.

"I think that if something's meant to happen, then it will happen, no matter what the circumstances are. I believe that you're meant for me, so even if it seems like the whole world is coming against us, we would find a way to be together," I would explain, staring up at him with heartfelt eyes. And then, we'd forget we were even watching the movie, and he would kiss me gently.

Then, he'd finally pull away, and we'd look back at the TV and the credits would be rolling.

"Um...so what happened at the end?" He would ask, staring at me, confused.

I laughed audibly remembering these movie nights, as I decided to pop in 'Toy Story' instead. Maybe I wouldn't think about him as much during this film. Then again, he was always telling me how he wished toys could talk...hmm.

Before I even got through the first preview, I heard the phone ringing. Automatically thinking it was Max, I answered it before the second ring.

"Hello?" I answered, my chest heaving and my stomach twisting.

"Harper!" The frantic voice on the other end was Alex. She sounded like she had been crying, and hearing her so upset made my heart drop.

"What's wrong, Alex? What happened?" I questioned her, gripping the arm of the sofa absentmindedly.

"You need to come over as quick as you can!" She exclaimed, and I could hear muffled voices in the background that seemed to be growing louder with every passing second.

"I'll be right there," I told her, not waiting for a goodbye. I rushed to pull on my parka and snow boots, and in my hurry, realized I had put them on the wrong feet. I struggled to fix them, stumbling around in the hallway for a few seconds, before finally tossing the front door open and making my escape.

I figured the quickest way to get there would be the subway, so I hurried to the station as quickly as I could. People stared at my skewed appearance, but that was the last thing on my mind, as I entered the car and took my seat. What could possibly have Alex so frazzled? She was like an invincible sheet of steel, able to weather the worst of storms. She usually didn't care about much of anything, so that was a small inkling that something horrible had happened.

I grasped my stomach nervously, hoping I would be able to handle whatever it was. The fact that Alex had called me to come over meant that it involved me somehow. I tapped my feet nervously, as the train came to a screeching halt at the station just down the street from Waverly Place.

I pushed through the crowd of people, running as fast as my feet would carry me, and finally stopped when I reached the entrance of the street my best friend lived on. Approaching the door of the Sub Station cautiously, I could see human figures inside. I noted the 'closed' sign on the door, and figured it had to be the Russos.

I put on a brave face and took a deep breath, before pushing the door open meekly. The hushed conversation ceased as I entered. Alex was standing next to Max, and her mouth fell open slightly when she saw me. Max shifted his feet forward slightly, as though he were going to run and greet me, but thought better of it.

Jerry and Theresa stood side-by-side and adjacent to the two youngest Russos, their faces grave when they caught sight of me.

Justin stood behind the counter, his eyes on the situation, but looking surprisingly apathetic.

"Harper," Alex whispered, her eyes pleading some unknown question.

"You called Harper?" Theresa asked her daughter, her tone reminiscent of the night before.

"I think she deserves to know what you're _doing_," Alex replied, her voice as rebellious as ever. At her forboding words, I risked a glance at the older Russos. My face may have even held a defiant expression. I was certainly curious.

Alex had tears tracking down her face, and Max appeared to have been crying recently. Theresa spared me a short, sullen expression.

"What's going on?" I heard myself say, though I don't know how I managed the words.

"We've come to a decision," Jerry informed me, though his eyes fell upon Max instead of me. I wasn't aware that a decision needed to be come to.

"A decision?" I repeated, my tone getting as serious as the situation seemed to be.

"Justin caught my spell last night, and he told them," Alex enlightened me, her arms crossing, as she stared angrily at her older brother.

My eyes dropped to the floor, guilt steadily rising inside of me. They had found out about Max spending the night with me the night before. What would they do to him, now? And what about Alex? I had dragged her into this, too.

"We're not going to have you two sneaking around, doing whatever you damn well please," Theresa told me, and I rarely heard her use language like that. Its instensity nearly bowled me over.

I heard Max scoff, and I saw his head shake slightly, and he seemed to be trembling with anger. I couldn't find a response.

"You're not to see each other again," she added, and those words ripped the rug out from under me. My eyes shot up to meet hers, and I felt full of rage all of a sudden. I understood Max's anger at that point.

"She's not going to keep me away from you," Max said, as though no one else was there but me. Alex smiled slightly, at the effect of Max's words on their parents.

"That's enough! You are going to New Jersey, and that's final," Jerry reprimanded his son, and then my anger resided with him.

"New Jersey?" I shouted, and I didn't care how loud my voice was.

"I have a friend who owns a Military Academy for boys. He agreed to let Max join in the middle of the semester," he continued, as though I had not spoken.

My world was suddenly crumbling at my feet, cometing down from a dangerous height. There was no material on Earth that could repair it. His words could not be, were not reality, right?

"You can't...he can't..." I whispered, trying to regain my footing in the conversation. I was far away from this all of a sudden, in a cold and barren wasteland. There were people standing all around me, but there was no Max. The sky was black and starless, and the ground began cracking under my feet.

But I was brought back, because I heard that voice again. His voice.

"-hell or high water," was all I caught. And I nodded, although I had not heard all of what Max had said.

"This is going to end," Theresa said, as though her words carried some sort of apocalyptic effect. Who knows? Maybe they did have that power. It sure felt like it at that moment.

"Harper?" I heard Alex's faint voice in the background, behind all the static that was suddenly buzzing in my ear. I tried to find her with my eyes. Her expression was one of concern, and also one of desperation.

I realized I need to collect myself. I had to fight back. I couldn't allow them to send away her brother, my love.

"I won't let you take him," I muttered, in a low growl. I was taken aback at how much my own voice scared me. I could only hope it had the same effect on Max's parents.

"This is what's best for everyone," Jerry declared, obviously unmoved by my statement.

"Why aren't you listening..." I said, though it wasn't a question. It was just a small grumble in my throat.

"He's leaving in a couple of days," Theresa informed me, and I knew she was enjoying the sheer torture I was feeling. I was done feeling sorry. I was over being guilty.

"He isn't going anywhere!" My voice was louder this time. They _heard_ it this time. I knew this, because they all looked at me with shocked eyes. Max grinned proudly, perhaps because I wasn't backing down. I was so used to cowering in the corner when faced with conflict. Everyone was used to that Harper. They should have known not to provoke me this way.

"You have no authority here. He is _my_ son-" Theresa began. I hope she didn't actually think she was going to finish that thought.

"He is _mine_. He's the father of _my_ child. I love him more than anything I have ever loved! Don't think I'm going to stand by and just let you take him away from me!" I roared, and I would have loved a picture of their faces at that moment.

"Go Harper," I heard Alex say under her breath. She smirked when her parents glared at her.

"That is enough! This conversation is over," Theresa sighed, probably a little worn out from the surprise that me actually fighting back had summoned.

"The _hell_ it is," Max said for me, which was funny because the same words had entered my mind.

Theresa looked desperately from me to Max, before her eyes finally landed on Jerry. She approached him sadly.

"Look at what she is doing to our son! Would you listen to him?" She cried, before twirling back around to look at us, spouting something in Spanish.

Max just ignored her, and finally made his way to me, wrapping me up tightly in his arms. I smirked into his shoulder at the look on Jerry and Theresa's face. It served them right.

I pulled back just enough to kiss him, taking my time and not caring that his family was watching.

"I'll find a way out of it," he promised me, and I smiled sadly, because it was disheartening to know that there was yet another thing we had to find a way out of. Would the trials ever stop?

"Get upstairs, now," his mother said from behind him. He turned and glared at her.

"I'd rather not." Her eyes grew wild with condemnation, and her hands went straight to her hips.

"I think we're going out," Alex muttered carelessly, approaching both Max and I. As badly as I wanted to be alone with Max, Alex was a welcome addition to a night out.

The three of us stared defiantly back at Jerry, Theresa and Justin. They stared back, dumbfounded. Alex glanced back at us, her smile slowly fading.

"You guys aren't going to be all...lovey-dovey and annoying, are you?" She asked, disgusted at the thought. Max and I nodded in unison. Yes. Yes we were.

She rolled her eyes, and led the way out the front door. I spared the Russos one last glance, but this time, there was some worry etched on my face. What had we just done?

**A/N:** Okay, about halfway through there, I went through some kind of writing trance. I just kept writing and writing and I didn't even know exactly what I was writing, but yeah. There it is. This chapter didn't go the way it was planned (due the the whole _trance_ thing) but whatever. This is what was in my heart I guess, so...YEP. Are you guys enjoying these fast updates? I wonder how long they'll last, lol.


	14. My Grave

**Our Dirty Little Secret**

**Chapter 14 - My Grave**

**A/N:** No, this is not a dream. I actually updated! :-P Yeah, I can't believe it either! I've had the majority of this chapter done for quite a while, but I could never find a way to finish it. THE GODS HAVE SHONE DOWN ON ME. ON US ALL. My over-dramatic outburst aside, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, and I'm **very** sorry for making you wait so long for it.

**Disclaimer:** The story is mine, the show is not. Although I'd totally switch them if it were possible.

**Chapter Summary:** Why does it feel like goodbye?

~!#$%^&*()_+

My night out with Max and Alex was fun. It was something I had needed for quite a while. So, now that I was at home, why did I feel the way I did? So horrible, so guilty. Perhaps because they were no longer in my presence. Perhaps because of the rather unfiltered things I had said to their parents.

Either way, I felt a foreboding feeling twisting its way through my stomach like a snake. It felt like Max was going to leave me, regardless of anything else. It seemed like I had dug my own grave, and Max's right next to it. Alex was the lone mourner, weeping over both of them, shaking her head as she did so. Justin stood in the parking lot by the car, rolling his eyes.

It seemed strange that Alex was the involved one, and that Justin didn't care. Or if he did care, it was only about seeing the end of Max and I. I considered trying to talk to him, to explain the situation in its entirety, but I didn't feel like he would even listen. Especially not after tonight. I stood by my window, currently my sole portal to the outside world, and mulled over everything that had happened.

I wondered what kind of grief Alex and Max had gone home to. Would their parents ever let them see the light of day again? It didn't seem likely, or even possible.

My fingernails inattentively scratched at the white paint of my windowsill, leaving dark brown splotches everywhere. I'm sure my mom wouldn't appreciate it, but I had to do something, anything to keep myself busy. Anything to distract from the guilt that was reappearing inside of me.

Maybe if I apologized to the Russos, explained to them that I had this strange surge of overwhelmingly powerful love flowing through me, and that with that love came a brand new overprotective nature that I wasn't used to or even in control of yet. Maybe if I told them that the thought of being separated from Max had kicked it into overdrive and that I was sorry for being so belligerent towards them...maybe they would forgive me. Maybe they would stop trying to take Max away from me. Maybe they would finally understand that I couldn't be without him.

Or maybe they would give me that look that indicated they were uninterested in anything I had to say, and that I was far past the point of being forgiven by their family. Maybe that ship truly had sailed.

I silently wondered to myself if, perhaps I should stop meddling. What if I just let the near future plot its own course and see where it would lead me? After all, supposedly, whatever will be will be, right? Things that were meant to happen would happen, and then the Russos would truly see that Max and I were never meant to be without each other.

But was it a risk I could really take? Could I actually withdraw myself from this and do nothing? What if fate decided to be cruel once more, and mine and Max's future would take on another form, utterly different from that of the old couple on the bus? The future that I dreamed about. The future that I wanted so badly, but couldn't tell if it was really within my reach or not. It was a helpless feeling.

I felt a spasm of panic in my throat just thinking about it. Being without Max...it wasn't a future I could picture.

I glanced at the clock, remembering that I was supposed to be getting dressed for my doctor's appointment. I cringed at the thought of doctors poking and prodding me, and I was upset even further by the fact that Max wouldn't there. It sort of felt like he should be. Wasn't that kind of the tradition?

The chagrin was followed by guilt, as it also surfaced in my mind that my mom was taking half the day off just so she could take me to the doctor's, and be with me afterward. I sighed deeply, practicing fake smiles. I had worried her enough over the last few weeks, so I would put a stop to it if I could.

I pulled my hair out of my face and leafed through the few homemade scarves I had accumulated over the years. My hand froze as my fingers skimmed across the butterfly scarf I'd made when I was 13. I had it with me one day when Mr. Russo, Max and I all went to Coney Island. Max decided it would be a good idea to take a ride on the Ferris wheel, and we ended up getting stuck at the top.

Now that I thought of it, it was a good idea. I had never truly appreciated being that close to him until the recent weeks. A sad smile formed on my face, and I gathered the scarf in my hands before wrapping it around me, walking out of my room with it.

My mom was twirling a spoon in a cup of coffee at the kitchen counter, looking lost in thought, her eyes unfocused. Something told me the coffee wasn't in need of anymore stirring. Something told me my mom was seeking a distraction, much like me and my paint-chipping.

Her distracted silence gave me a few moments to think about what would happen at the doctor's office. A pregnant 17-year-old. I was sure they'd seen it many times before. They'd probably just write me off as another promiscuous teenage girl who didn't get enough attention from her father. Part of it was true, but that was beside the point. I was tired of thinking about it. I wanted to get it over with.

"You away with the fairies, mom?" I asked, more edge in my voice than I wanted, but she smiled anyway.

"I guess so," she hummed, finally taking a sip from her mug.

"I'm sure you're just thrilled to take your pregnant daughter out in public," I chuckled, sympathetically. I knew I'd be dreading this even more from her position.

"Hey now. None of that. It got me out of a few hours of work, didn't it?" She laughed, and it brought a fit of laughter from me as well. I honestly wasn't expecting that response.

"So, are you ready to go?" She asked me, after the giggles had subsided. I nodded hesitantly. No. No I wasn't.

I suggested that we take a cab, since I didn't really trust my mom to drive us there, given how distracted she was. I tried to focus on the meter, watching the numbers rise with every mile we traveled. It didn't occupy my mind for very long, as my thoughts drifted back to Max. I had wanted to call him that morning to let him know what I was doing that day, and also to find out if he and Alex were okay after they came home the night before. My hands shook as I considered what their parents had done.

I had always considered the Russos compassionate people, but the look on both their faces when I had told them that I was pregnant made me think of them in another way entirely. They could get angry, maybe even enough so to frighten someone. They could deal out harsh punishments, I was sure of that.

The fact that my mother was so accepting of it all almost made it worse. It was as if this whole situation had turned out backwards. Max was stuck with the misery, and I didn't like it one bit.

The cab driver's stodgy voice interrupted my mental hell, announcing that we had arrived at our destination. I glanced out the window at the enormous building, and though it was big, it didn't really stand out from any other building in New York. It was a dim gray, laced with numerous mirrored windows, all of which seemed reflect the distant sun.

I sighed deeply, exiting the cab gracelessly, my nervous state not doing much for my lack of coordination. I tried to ignore my mom, who argued with the cab driver for a few moments, accusing him of naming the wrong price. He claimed the meter named the price, and of course she thought it was broken.

Spotting my desire to get this over with as soon as possible, she reluctantly paid the driver and escorted me inside. It was as bland as every other doctor's office in America. There was almost school-like speckled tile, and fake greenery as far as the eye could see. There were messy paintings hanging everywhere, and I assumed they were painted by some of the younger patients that came through.

Also like every other doctor's office in America, it tried to create a calming and soothing atmosphere, but that fact alone made it even more ominous. I began wringing my hands again, glancing at my mom hopelessly, as she made her way to the front desk.

The well-dressed brunette smiled at us as we approached, and gave my mom an expectant look.

"Hello. My daughter has an appointment with Dr. Carver at 11:30," my mom informed her politely, and the brunette looked through a book she had laying open in front of her.

"Finkle?" She asked, looking up. My mom nodded.

"Okay, Dr. Carver is on the 16th floor. Just go to the waiting area until the nurse calls you back," she instructed us, and her pleasant tone did nothing for me.

In fact, my displeasure with being there was starting to manifest in my voice, as I felt a faint whine under my breath. But, as my mom looked at me, I resumed my smile, though it was as fake as the plants there.

The worst part of doctor's visits was the waiting room. I had always felt that way, but it seemed worse now. I had no patience anymore, especially when it came to this.

I attempted to make my mind wander as we waited, watching the floor as though something interesting would happen to it. I huffed a few times, then wrung my hands together.

I let my thoughts coast back to Max and Alex, and the previous night. That happiness and the sense of fun associated with it seemed very far away from me now. I tended to go through 'live in the moment' phases nowadays, but after it wore off, there would be extreme guilt and regret.

It seemed like I was the source of everyone's problems. Me and my uncharacteristically reckless behavior. I had never been this way, and I didn't understand why it was happening now.

Max seemed to bring that out in me, I thought, smiling. The smile turned back into a introspective frown, as I remembered that this was not a situation to smile about. I'd had no contact with either Russo sibling since that night, and I had no idea of what they were going through.

Just as I began going through the possibilities again, the nurse came in and called my name. It caught me off guard, and I let out a small gasp. I looked at my mom helplessly, but she just gave me a reassuring smile.

I wondered what kind of tests they would run. Would they poke me with needles? I shuddered, but then regained my composure as I took into account that this was for the health of my baby.

The health of my baby…

My breathing took a turn for the worst, as I grasped that I had not even considered the health of my baby before now. What kind of mother was I? There could have been something wrong…I wouldn't even have known.

My mom clutched my hand, as though she knew what I was thinking.

"I'm sure everything is perfectly fine. They're probably just gonna put you on vitamins," she informed me, guiding me to the exam room.

The nurse looked over my chart for a moment, nodding as she skimmed over the pages. When she looked up, she caught sight of my worried face, and she smiled.

"First time mom?" She asked, with a slight chuckle. I just stared at her, probably resembling a deer caught in headlights. She took that as a yes.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about," she reassured me, instructing me to take a seat on the uncomfortable exam table. It probably wouldn't have been as uncomfortable were I not in this particular situation.

"All right, I'm gonna ask you a few questions. First, how far along are you?" The nurse chatted, her pen ready in hand.

"Um…about a month," I answered, my voice strained. The nurse pursed her lips, and I wondered what she was thinking. She wrote something down in her notebook, presumably the information I had just given her.

"You're sure?" She asked. I nodded, and I figured she probably assumed I'd had sex more than once. And sure, it was true, but I was pretty sure the pregnancy was caused by the first time. Plus, I wasn't going to share the latter part of that thought with my mother in the room with me.

"Well, since it's so early, the doctor is gonna prescribe you some vitamins to help the pregnancy go smoothly. I'm also going to give you some pamphlets with information about what kind of foods you should eat to stay as healthy as possible...you know, things like that," the nurse declared, and my breath evened at the news that everything seemed to be normal. My mom gave me a lighthearted 'I told you so' look, and I had to smile.

"No sonogram?" I asked, my voice cracking from the stress I had been under.

"Well, at this point, we most likely wouldn't be able to seen anything. The doctor will schedule you an appointment at a later date for your first sonogram. The doctor should be in shortly," the kind nurse informed me, before smiling and taking her leave.

The visit was so short, and everything about my pregnancy seemed so routine to these people, that I had to wonder if any of them had kids. I guessed they had seen everything at this point.

Dr. Carver did exactly as the nurse said she would. A few lectures about my diet and prescriptions later, I was back in the elevator, a small smile on my face.

"I knew you had nothing to worry about. You've always been very healthy," my mom said, pulling me to her side and kissing me on top of my head. I let out a tiny laugh. I was so relieved that everything seemed so normal. My heart was lighter than it had been for quite some time.

Before I knew it, my cell phone began chirping, disrupting all the peace I had been filled with. I looked at the caller ID, my heart almost bursting open at the sight of Max's name before me. I looked at my mom in disbelief, and it was like she read my mind.

"I'm gonna go to the ladies' room, so go ahead," she said with a smile that seemed to be laced with satisfaction. I was sure she knew how badly I wanted to talk to Max...how badly I _needed_ to talk to him,

Opening my phone, I let out a shaky breath into the mouthpiece which I was embarrassed about after I had done it.

"Max?" I called out in a remarkably quiet voice.

"Harper, you don't know how happy I am to hear your voice," I heard him say, and I didn't know whether to cry out of joy, or to laugh, or to interrogate him on everything that had happened since last night.

What came out was a strangled sob, that perhaps could have been mistaken for a laugh...maybe. Either way, I had embarrassed myself twice in a matter of seconds. Keeping to the status quo, I suppose.

"I thought I would never talk to you again," I admitted, leaning against the wall to steady myself. If only he had actually been in my presence. I would have never let him go.

"I promise you, I'll always find a way to talk to you," he said, and my head was spinning so fast at this point, I was having a hard time keeping up.

"What happened last night...after you guys got home?" I asked him hesitantly, looking around to see if my mom had come back from the bathroom yet. I didn't see her anywhere.

"Same old, same old. It's not important, anyway. How are you feeling?" He asked me. I was a little concerned with how he shrugged off my question, but I dropped it anyway.

"I'm fine. I just came out of the doctor's office, actually-" I began to explain, but he freaked out after he heard me mention a doctor.

"What? What's wrong? What happened?" He questioned me, and I smiled at his concern.

"No, it's nothing like that, Max. Just a routine doctor's appointment. They gave me vitamins and stuff. We'll be able to see the baby in about 12 weeks, can you believe it?" I clarified, saying the last part with effortless joy.

"You're gonna have the baby in 12 weeks? I thought it took 9 months!" Max asked me, alarmed. I couldn't help but laugh.

"No. They're taking a sonogram picture in 12 weeks - a picture of the baby while it's still inside of me," I giggled as I explained it to him.

"Oh...I can't wait to see him. Or...er..._her_. We're going to see our baby, Harper," he repeated, his voice bearing the tone of amazement, and I knew exactly what he was feeling.

"I know! It's insane, isn't it?" I chatted happily, feeling invincible. Moments like those never ended well for me, it seemed.

"I need to talk to you about something," he muttered after a few seconds of silence, and his voice sounded eerily serious.

"O-okay," I said, fearing the direction the conversation was headed.

"I've been doing some research on something. I mean I know it's pretty big and everything...a little drastic...okay, _very_ drastic, but I can't help feeling it might be necessary," he began, and I couldn't even begin to fathom what he was planning.

"What is it?" I inquired, wondering if I really would want to know.

"Um...well, I've been learning about emancipation," he announced, and my mouth fell open. It took me a moment to find my voice again. Very drastic? He wasn't kidding.

"Emancipation? I-I don't understand, Max..." I trailed off, once again checking for my mom. She had emerged from the bathroom, but was now talking to a woman who was standing near the reception area. It seemed like they were familiar with each other.

"Well, emancipation is when-" he started, but I cut him off.

"I know what it is, Max. What I mean is, why are you considering it?" I asked him worriedly, as my head started to spin again.

"It's obvious my parents are never going to accept what happened. Why put up with it? Why keep suffering when-" I cut him off again.

"What _happened_ last night, Max?" I asked him again. There was something going on here that he wasn't telling me.

"Nothing happened last night. I'm just tired of not being with you. If I do this, I won't ever have to leave you again," he concluded, and I winced at how amazing that sounded. Such a wonderful outcome of a horrible situation.

"Max, they're your parents. Your _family_. I don't want to come between you and your family," I confessed, trying to keep my voice down as people walked by me.

"They stopped acting like a family towards me the minute they found out what happened. I could be happy with you, or I could stay here and be miserable with them. It's really not that hard of a choice – Harper, I have to go. I'll explain everything soon, I promise. I love you," Max concluded abruptly, leaving me even more crestfallen.

"I love you," I said quickly, before hearing the line click. And just like that, he was gone again, for God knows how long. I tried to keep my obvious emotions under wraps, as I clicked my phone closed.

It sounded crazy. It sounded impossible. It sounded amazing. As much as I didn't want to look at it positively, my mind wandered to thoughts of being with Max forever, with no unpleasantness surrounding us. I envisioned us once more as the old couple on the bus, giving hope to stupid kids who couldn't seem to get anything right, and who only wanted to be with the person they loved.

While the Russos weren't my favorite people in the world right now, they had still treated me like their own child ever since I had become Alex's best friend. Could I really support Max cutting all ties with them? In my selfish form, yes I could. But did I really want that for the person I loved?

I motioned to my mom that I was done talking to him and that we could leave. I was in a hurry to get home, because I needed to find a way to talk to Max again soon before he made any decisions. Even though I didn't know what I wanted to tell him. I considered them wanting to send him to a military school in New Jersey. His plan would ensure that he would never have to leave. There were two very heavy sides to the story.

As my mom escorted me outside and hailed another cab for us, she looked at me expectantly.

"So? Did you tell him about the appointment?" she asked me, and I nodded as happily as I could.

"He's excited to see the baby," I informed her. She didn't seem to suspect anything was wrong, thankfully. Though she would probably be one of the best people to talk to about this, I wanted to talk to Max again first.

The ride home was possibly even more nerve-wracking than the ride to the doctor's office. There was a category 5 hurricane swirling around in my brain, and it was painful. I didn't know what I could do about it. I decided my first activity when I got home would be to prepare a cold-compress. The doctor told me t avoid aspirin while I was pregnant. Since the baby's organs were developing fast in the first trimester, they were very vulnerable to the risks of drugs. I wasn't going to do anything to compromise my baby's health, even if I had to suffer because of it.

When the cab finally came to a stop in front of my house, I was relieved to be home. I hurried toward the house as my mother once again argued with the cabdriver. Since we were home, I really didn't care this time. As I approached the steps, I saw a black head of hair appear over the banister. My eyes widened at the familiar face.

"Justin?" I said evenly.

**A/N:** OMG FINALLY. IT'S FINALLY DONE. This chapter was a pain in my ass, but thank goodness it's over. I hope you all enjoyed it. Hopefully it won't be forever before I update again!


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